Peoples Attitudes changed when stated I was joining

[baudspeed]

I have a question regarding how people around you acted when you stated that you were going to join the CF? I have  had such a large mixed reaction from friends and family that i felt at times that maybe i was being crazy. I am joining because i am (what i consider) well read on what canada has done for the world, and want to participate, even if that means I am put in harms way.
However, when i tell them that i am making a career change, they smile and encourage me to be adventurous, then when they ask what i will be doing, and i tell them that i am intending to give the army some of my time, their faces drop and i get the 'Thats nice' smile, and the conversation stalls out. At which time, i feel somewhat out of place.

Anyone else had experiences like this? does it end once you are in? Am I the only one who is in this boat?

 

[LeonTheNeon]

My wife is very supportive.  She knows and firmly believes that I was meant for military service.  My kids are happy for me because they know that this is my calling, but they are sad that I'll be away from home.

My mother doesn't like the idea.  She thinks the military/gov't is corrupt and negative influence on the world.  She thinks I'm giving up too much to serve.  Also, she doesn't want me to get killed.

My father understands why I need to join although he doesn't really agree with decision.  He has remarked "I hope I win the lottery so you don't need to re-join the army."

My other family members are largely indifferent one way or the other.  They have roughly that "That's nice" attitude.

My friends are mainly supportive and think it'll be cool to be able to say "I have a buddy who's an officer in the army."

 

[mudeater]

Be PROUD. You just joined the greatest family in the world. People's reaction will be mixed, depending on your life situation. IE, are you a student, or are you leaving a $88,000 a year job. Service to the CF comes from YOUR heart and no one else's. From my experience, most people will be proud, some may not say it, but your CF family is the only one who will truly understand. Welcome!

 

[hopeful_officer_girl]

I really haven't had any "bad" experiences.  My parents are pretty supportive too. Even though my mother would prefer that I just get a "normal" job, my dad was the one who encouraged me to apply to the Air Force. Other family members were pretty surprised but largely indifferent. All my other friends that I have told were nothing but supportive and pretty curious about what I wanted to do. 

mudeater is completely right. If you want to do this, then it shouldn't really matter what others think about it. Just follow your heart and join up. 

 

[Springroll]

My wife is very supportive.  She knows and firmly believes that I was meant for military service.  My kids are happy for me because they know that this is my calling, but they are sad that I'll be away from home.

This is similar to my family, except its my husband, not a wife...lol
My family is all very supportive of this decision of mine.

 

[ThainC]

I guess most of my friends and family just saw it as a natural part of my evolution, and if anything, have asked what has taken me so long.  My parents learned that "disapproving" doesn't change anything.  I think they learned this when I bought my first motorcycle, so now they understand that support is the best thing.  About the only thing I typically get is worry... They all watch the news (such a lovely trap for the public - "info"tainment), and when they learn I plan to go into the Infantry, they usually just express worry about my safety.  Other than that... everyone has been supportive of me.

CST

 

[matty101]

I've had a lot of positive responses since I decided to join.  They all share a concern for my safety of course.  The only people I have ever had any problems with are the super left wing people that take offence to Canada even having a military and those conversations are short anyway.  If you feel strongly about becoming a soldier than I say go for it.

MTH

 

[Shamrock]

I've had some mild to negative reactions.

I first joined shortly after the Somalia Affair hit the fan right out of high school.  Public opinion of the Forces was at an all time low.  Friends that I had for years suddenly stopped wanting to talk to me; one even called me a chained dog (this even before I had gone on basic).  Of course, this was from the highly educated, well informed opinion of high school kids.  Read: they saw some stuff in the news that had been biased & edited by the media and they emulated the opinions.

Since then, I've had similar things.  Having a normal conversation, then some-one asks what I do.  Fade to polite smile.  This week, I was talking to someone about her intended work with a humanitarian relief organization in Central America.  I had discussed work I had alongside with the Red Cross, and she enquired why I was working alongside the Cross and not with.  Regardless of all the Aides-to-civil power I had participated in, regardless of all the times I had escorted convoys or helped transport Red Cross supplies, regardless to my own domestic volunteering & civil services, I was military and that was wrong.  I wished her luck with the Zapatistas and she asked what some 70's musician had to do with anything.

I've had experiences on the other end of the spectrum that have made my skin crawl, including stuff like random people encouraging me to go kill (derogatory terms for Muslim, Balkan, Russian, non-Christian, native, whatever) people.  Their enthusiasm was the worst.

I had a similar conversation with a relative of mine that ended on a more comical note when I asked if he, as a miner, ever faced anything like that. "Nope," he said.  So I called him a Gaea Rapist.

 

[Trinity]

Everyone laughed at me when I said I was joining as a Private

That was 13 years ago.

My promotion to Capt is just waiting on the paper work. 

 

[Centurian1985]

I joined up, did my 20, got my pension, and my family still thinks I was crazy to join.  They were proud that I served, but still don't understand why I enjoyed it...  :

 

[Trinity]

I joined up, did my 20, got my pension, and my family still thinks I was crazy to join.  They were proud that I served, but still don't understand why I enjoyed it...  :

But they enjoy the pension...  : : 

 

[Dirt Digger]

Father was Navy, grandfather was Navy, sister is Navy, mother worked at a school for Navy kids.

So I joined the Army...sister's boyfriend (now husband) convinced me I wanted to be with the C Scot R.

As for people's reactions, I'm currently working a summer work term for my Masters program.  Many of the people in the company I work for are amazed that I actually want to go back to Afghanistan...like I have a death-wish or something.  Unfortunately, I went and stuck myself into a trade that rarely deploys, so actually getting overseas seems to be a fight...if you can believe that. 

I also deal with some students in my program that are really out of touch with the way things work in the real world.  Amazed that I read the National Post (free on campus), that I support gay rights and that I pay taxes.  For the most part, they're a good bunch...they've just never met anyone in the CF. 

 

[brisebois109]

I just joined this summer and I was lucky that most of the people around me were very supportive.  I had been investigating a career with the military since I was in grade nine so for three years now so everyone around me was pretty well prepped when I did join.  My mother however was not as supportive as she was more or less just worried that I would be routinely put in harms way but all I did was explain to her that this was my life and that serving my country was the way that I wanted to spend my life.  Although, if I am meeting new people and they ask what I do, I tell them that I am in the army reserves and I do prepare myself for them attacking me verbally.  They are all entitled to their opinions just as you are entitled to yours, I let them have their say, I let their comments roll off my back and I remember that there are MANY people out there that do support the military, you just have to be looking in the right places.

 

[paracowboy]

At which time, i feel somewhat out of place.

like a sheepdog in the middle of a flock of sheep? Don't worry about it. You feel out of place because you are out of place. You don't belong with the sheep. You belong with us, watching over them. You'll feel better once you're with your own kind.

 

[JBP]

like a sheepdog in the middle of a flock of sheep? Don't worry about it. You feel out of place because you are out of place. You don't belong with the sheep. You belong with us, watching over them. You'll feel better once you're with your own kind.

Para, beautifully said! Couldn't have found a better way to word it anywhere! Nicely done!

 

[Devlin]

Para ...someone should be paying you a lot of money to write books, well said.

I experienced all sorts of attitudes, from the extremely positive and thankful folks to the opposite end of the spectrum. If you know it's right for you then do it and do it as well as you are capable of. Be proud, look sharp, necks pressed back in the collar, swing your arms.... as a certain member of my DS in Pet used to say to us every morning. That has stuck with me over the years.

The fact that your questioning the people with the less than shining responses to your decision should re-affirm that you have made the correct choice for yourself. Welcome to the family.

 

[Centurian1985]

But they enjoy the pension...  : : 

Actually its the parents and siblings who dont understand...and yes they do envy that pension!  ;D

 

[paracowboy]

Para ...someone should be paying you a lot of money

that's what I keep saying!

 

[Michael OLeary]

that's what I keep saying!

Well, we would pay him, here at Army.ca, but since he went pro we could never afford his morale super-model union rate wage scale.  So, we can only keep him on staff as long as he does it as a charitable work. 

 

[WannaBeFlyer]

I have a question regarding how people around you acted when you stated that you were going to join the CF?

What I said: I applied to become a Pilot with the Canadian Forces.

What I heard from:

- Mom: Oh....(she took her time, then sat down)...Well you have always wanted to do that......(30 seconds) Would you have to go to Afghanistan? Followed by "Shoot a gun?"
- Dad: What!?! GOOD FOR YOU! Your 31 so that is what 28 years of wanting to get in?
- Friends:
            a. Oh.........like.......the military?..........huh..........Two burgers or a burger and a dog?
            b.  Oh.....would you have to fly sea kings? (I'm sure Inch would love that one and yes, I heard it several times)
            c. Would you have to go to Afghanistan?
            d. Why would you want to do that? (Usually precedes question b.) This is my LEAST favorite.
            e. But what about your wife/daughter? You will definitely get a divorce. (Although my wife says if I don't re-apply, I probably will  )
            e. You are set man with your current job, don't do that! (I work for "club fed". I hate it. )           
            f. Would you get to fly the CF-16?

           

Its tough. Specially when everybody is telling you that you are "set" and that you are crazy. The only one who has truly supported and encouraged me is my wife.