i‘m back with another story about the russian, whom i‘ll call ‘boris‘
-no, he is not in the ggfg‘s that was another incident
-yes, korus, this is exactly who you think it is, and he has done things you wouldn‘t believe.
anyway, this another boris story, which happened the weekend after the first story i mentioned. We were at the armoury friday night before heading out to the training area, and were getting kitted out, weapons, imps, etc. The staff told us it was very cold, and we should wear lots of warm kit, and bring extra civvy kit if necessary, as long as it was green or black.
so, boris takes this advice to heart. at the armoury friday night, he is on the ground clearing a C6, when i happen to notice he has jeans sticking out of his pants where they are supposed to be bloused. i burst out laughing and tell a few other people, who just shake their heads, knowing it‘s gonna be another long weekend, with boris.
so, we get to the training area, and everyone sets up the tents and starts to bed down. Except boris. he won‘t move, cause when he takes his pants off to go to sleep the sergeant will see his jeans, and we have informed him of the consequences of his wearing jeans.
so, the sergeant says‘boris, you‘re pretty eager tonight, you wanna take the first stove watch?‘
he agrees, and everyone snickers quietly. The sergeant notices this immediately(like any good nco) and asks ‘what‘s so funny troops?‘ no one wants to blade boris, but the sergeant threatens them with some snowshoe pt at 3am, so someone just blurts out, "boris is wearing jeans"
The sergeant looks confused, so he asks "boris, are you wearing jeans?" boris says no. the sergeant says "stand up, and drop your pants"
boris does, and he is definitely wearing jeans. The sergeant and master corporal just stare at him, shaking their heading. then the sergeant gets and idea: "boris, drop those pants, too."
boris does, and it shows he is wearing purple and blue striped pyjama pants. the sergeants jaw drops. after that, he asks to see what is under those pants, and he is wearing longjohn‘s, thankfully.
after the sergeant regains his ability to think, he says"boris, this is what i want you to do: go to the officers tent, walk in, and say ‘sir, sergeant _____ said to show you this, and drop your pants" boris left, and the sergeant and master corporal discussed this event, saying stuff like "15 years, dumbest troop i‘ve ever seen, by far", etc.
so, boris changes into military clothing, and the staff decide to deal with him later.
However, boris still has some stupidity up his sleeve.
Later that weekend, we are at the grenade range, and are instructed to take off our parkas and put on flak jackets, despite the -30 cold, because we will only be outside for a few minutes. Pretty simple, except for boris. he is struggling to put the biggest size flak jacket on over his parka, stumbling around and knocking over piles of equipment while doing this. another sergeant sees this and starts jacking him up. It goes something like this
sergeant)‘what the **** are you doing boris, take off your GD parka" boris does, and it turns out he is wearing his four season‘s jacket underneath his parka. "boris, for crying out loud, why the **** are you wearing two jackets, for **** sakes? it isn‘t that ****ing cold, for **** sake!" the jacket comes off quickly. boris puts on the previously too small jacket, which now overlaps on his chest "oh, fits now don‘t it boris?" boris, agrees, and the sergeant helps him by putting his helmet on his head. the helmet won‘t fit on his head. the sergeant, appearing puzzled, decides to pull off his toque, and then put the helmet on. when he pulls off the toque, he discovers that boris is wearing his white balaclava rolled up underneath. the sergeant loses it, the next few minutes are filled with expletives, and us troops trying not to fall over laughing, and culminates with the sergeant screaming at him: "you‘re from russia for cryin‘ out loud! you‘re supposed to be used to the cold! what‘s the matter with you?" (of course, with more swears) then the sergeant opens the door of the range hut, throws boris out and screams at him: "go throw your ****ing grenades, and get out of my sight!"
so, in the end, there was a decision not to charge boris on account of the jeans incident, as it would damage his ‘career‘ he was let off with a large amount of screaming and threats if he did anything stupid again.
true story, he did something stupid everyday on course, i‘ve got tons more stories, just about him