When is she "Too Army"?
- Thread starter paracowboy
- Start date
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17thRecceSgt
Guest
vonGarvin said:She has a friend to witness the event or just the warning?
;D I am not sure I should touch that one!
1
17thRecceSgt
Guest
Scants said:
If memory serves me I can picture your SUNRAY saying that! (sorta like in our A1 Ech in '92 when she was Z49F)
- Reaction score
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- Points
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When you turn out the lights she waits a few minutes to get her 'night vision'.
She makes you stand at attention when she enters and leaves the room (cause she's the 9'er, rght?)
She has a spotting scope and the ranges marked out across the back yard.
She calls the back fence the "Ho Chi Minh trail" because the squirrels run across it all day long.
She wants someone for 'KP' when she needs help in the kitchen.
During war movies she predicts what tactics the good guys will use of they are ambushed.
During war movies she predicts what tactics she would use if she were the bad guys.
All of the kids have camoflauged bed covers instead of Mickey Mouse, Toy Story or Little Mermaid.
Instead of backpacks she buys the kids rucksacks for carrying their books and lunch.
Instead of a sandwich she hands the kids IMP's or MRE's
She knows how to make an 'MRE bomb. Very well.
When you come home from work she comes outside and asks if you need a 'ground guide'.
She puts you on report for going into the fridge outside of posted regular meal hours.
She turns one of the room in the house into her 'CO Office'
You complain about how the RSM was ragging on you about a badly shined pair of parade shoes; she looks, and agrees with the RSM.
She starts hanging up a clipboard by the front door that says "Routine Orders", and expects you to read it every time you come home.
All the artsy-fartsy interpretive art is replaced by classic war paintings like 'Vimy Ridge'
Instead of a wedding picture she has a picture of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman on the wall.
She gets rid of her Shania Twain and starts listening to bagpipes.
She makes you stand at attention when she enters and leaves the room (cause she's the 9'er, rght?)
She has a spotting scope and the ranges marked out across the back yard.
She calls the back fence the "Ho Chi Minh trail" because the squirrels run across it all day long.
She wants someone for 'KP' when she needs help in the kitchen.
During war movies she predicts what tactics the good guys will use of they are ambushed.
During war movies she predicts what tactics she would use if she were the bad guys.
All of the kids have camoflauged bed covers instead of Mickey Mouse, Toy Story or Little Mermaid.
Instead of backpacks she buys the kids rucksacks for carrying their books and lunch.
Instead of a sandwich she hands the kids IMP's or MRE's
She knows how to make an 'MRE bomb. Very well.
When you come home from work she comes outside and asks if you need a 'ground guide'.
She puts you on report for going into the fridge outside of posted regular meal hours.
She turns one of the room in the house into her 'CO Office'
You complain about how the RSM was ragging on you about a badly shined pair of parade shoes; she looks, and agrees with the RSM.
She starts hanging up a clipboard by the front door that says "Routine Orders", and expects you to read it every time you come home.
All the artsy-fartsy interpretive art is replaced by classic war paintings like 'Vimy Ridge'
Instead of a wedding picture she has a picture of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman on the wall.
She gets rid of her Shania Twain and starts listening to bagpipes.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
The BIG compilation that Mud Recce Man talked about earlier...
When Is She “Too Army” – The Army.ca Compilation
Thread started by Paracowboy 12May06
Idea for compilation from Mud Recce Man
Compiled by Centurian1985
You know she’s ‘too army’ when….
When she says "Say again" instead of "Pardon me?"
When she ends phone calls with "Bye-bye, Out."
When she can run Timmy's out to you and the boys on a grid reference.
When she calls people "weak"
When she says "Roger" instead of "I understand".
When she mocks war movies for being inaccurate.
When you complain that the dog has tracked mud all over your pillow she says "What are you bitchin' for? It's dry."
When she says "one more for the regiment!”.
When your buddies call her ‘Sergeant-Major’.
When she makes fun of officer's drill.
When she says "Stupid Army!" more than you do.
When she knows your service number by heart.
When her weapons drills are smoother and faster than yours.
When she arranges the houseplants into a ‘hide’ by the front door.
When she swigs back a can of beer faster than you can.
When she gets drunk she flips off the neighbors and pees into the potted plants.
When she goes to get her hair cut, she goes to the barber for a ‘high and tight’
When she slaps a unit sticker on the back of your bed’s headboard.
When eating Mexican food, she slaps a burrito in your hand and yells “fire in the hole!”
When driving through town she calls out grid coordinates instead of street names.
When she has a sandbagged ‘sunning trench’ in the back yard instead of a sunroom.
When she thinks Patton and Rommel should have gone ‘mano-a-mano’ in tanks.
When she calls the ‘fat cow’ at the customer service desk a ‘stupid wog’.
When her high-heeled shoes have a better shine than your parade boots.
When her car has a cutting bar on the hood to ‘prevent being hit by communication wire’.
When she refuses to wash dishes or cook because that’s “women’s work”.
When she writes out a PER for you on every anniversary.
When she wants to put up concrete anti-tank traps instead of wooden fencing.
When she installs booby traps on the walking path down the side of the house.
When she refers to her breasts as ‘weapons of mass distraction’.
When she thinks the French ‘wussed out’ in WW1 and 2.
When you put a large decorative rock in the front yard and she paints it white.
When she threatens to march your teenage son down to the recruiting center when he turns 18.
When the sunroof on her Toyota Corolla has a pintle mount beside it.
When she hands you an MIR chit from her Doctor authorizing her to wear Birkenstocks.
When she says ‘Pass the f*cking potatoes, babe’ at the dinner table.
When she says ‘Sounds like a personal problem’.
When she says ‘Suck it up, Princess!’.
When she says ‘Use your drill voice!’.
When she considers ‘drill’ to be foreplay.
When she refers to a condom as a ‘BFA’.
When she says “Yep, it looks good-to-go"
When she says “OK, so you've got your TD and your FOA this month. Hand it over."
When she is talking to her friend on the phone and refers to you as "Sunray-Minor"
When she moves in and treats the event as a change of command ceremony.
When she announces the beginning of a ‘life-long R2I practical PO check’.
When she refers to the wedding as the Change of Command Ceremony.
When she starts calling the kitchen ‘the Mess’ and the basement becomes the ‘QM’.
When she refers to her trips to the backyard as ‘going into the field’.
When she starts calling food ‘Rations’.
When she thinks of the bedroom as the place you ‘go to ground’.
When she adopts any tile of Niner, Sunray, Super Sunray, or Niner Domestic.
When she replaces the kitchen and bathroom with the terms ‘the Galley’ and ‘the Head’.
When she announces that the stove is ‘manned and ready’ prior to supper.
When she refuses to allow you to participate in ‘maneuvers’ until the kitchen is ‘secured’
When she can shoot better than you.
When she refers to you as "F and E."
When her email address is "ninerdomestic@xxxxx" and she likes it.
When the only job she’s good for is Sgt Maj…any lower and she'd be in jail.
When she knows what DAG, M113, CFPAF, LTA, TD, IRRP, BOR, and CoC all mean.
When she gets upset because you use too many words instead of short acronyms like ASAP.
When she knows the rank structure better than you.
When all your battalion staff know her by her first name… and like her.
When she decides to name the first born after a famous soldier (i.e. Chesty Puller). Even if it’s a girl.
When she forms a local emergency militia group out of the other soldier's wives.
When she has a diagram of the supermarket marked with objective lines and 'probable areas of engagement'.
When she says you're not allowed to drink 8 hours before beginning 'infiltration operations' in the master bedroom.
When she announces she's doing to 'do a recce' before entering a store.
When she says "get it in ya" to the kids when they are trying to eat breakfast.
When she reminds you of the marksmanship principles prior to sex so you dont forget to 'follow-through'.
When she goes to park the car, lines up her car bumper with the cars on either side, and then shouts 'Still!'
When just before doing yard work she does a time appreciation and gives a warning order.
When she refers to your talking to other women as a 'security breach'.
When after you have had a fight, she maintains 'radio silence' until you 'authenticate'.
When cleaning the yard, she lines up the kids and does a 'brass sweep'.
When buying a new house she wants an estimate of 'house defence' capability.
When she trains the dog, it is not allowed to sit until she says 'at ease'.
When she refers to you spending the night on the couch as 'forced rest'.
When she calls on 'O group" and does a combat appreciation prior to your mother coming over.
When her Int Network was better than yours.
When she says we have to adopt 'countermeasures' to prevent being gossiped about on the local rumor mill.
When she charges you for an ND
When one of your kids asks "Daddy, why would mommy want you to 'follow-through'?".
When she agrees to marry on the Regimental Birthday so you both can easily remember the date.
When you refer to her as your "Oberbefehlshaber".
When she knows the first names of all your senior NCOs and officers
When she tries to time the birth of your first child on the Regimental Birthday.
When she tells your son to "Pick up the pace!" while delivering papers.
When she want's to gather in the kids she puts up her hand and yells "On me!"
When she want's a group's attention she yells "Listen up!"
When you mention there is a "boy's night out" coming up...that day, she hands you a leave pass stamped "Denied"...
When you disappoint her in your "marital duties" and she puts you on "Verbal Warning" with one of her friends as a witness...
When she tells you to "flash up the c/s" on a cold winter morning...
When she mumbles "good we have double-banked comm's" when you both go out somewhere with your cell phones...
When she owns more camo pants and tops then you have CADPAT...and gets excited when the Canex gets some "new kit in".
When you are complaining about something and she says "sort yourself out" or "get a grip on yourself!"
When you aren't up at 0600 on Saturday to run with her and she refers to you as "slack and idle" when you wake up...
When she refers to getting together with the girls as "PD stuff"...
When you go shopping, she communicates with you using hand signs and signals to indicate how many loaves of bread she wants you to grab off the shelf.
When, while getting ready to leave the house, she yells "5 minutes notice to move people!"
When you sit down to start your vacation plans, she grabs the map and says "First I will orient you to the ground...”
When she mumbles "fu%#ing civvies".
When she is ready to leave the house she tells the kids to "mount up".
When she tells you now that the kids are in kindergarden it's time to bulid the MOCK tower in the backyard!
When you turn out the lights she waits a few minutes to get her 'night vision'.
When she makes you stand at attention when she enters and leaves the room.
When she has a spotting scope and the ranges marked out across the back yard.
When she calls the back fence the "Ho Chi Minh trail" because the squirrels run across it all day long.
When she wants someone for 'KP' when she needs help in the kitchen.
When during war movies she predicts what tactics the good guys will use if they are ambushed.
When during war movies she predicts what tactics she would use if she were the bad guys.
When all of the kids have camouflaged bed covers instead of Mickey Mouse, Toy Story or Little Mermaid.
When instead of backpacks she buys the kids rucksacks for carrying their books and lunch.
When instead of a sandwich she hands the kids IMP's or MRE's
When she knows how to make an 'MRE bomb… very well.
When you come home from work she comes outside and asks if you need a 'ground guide'.
When she puts you on report for going into the fridge outside of posted regular meal hours.
When she turns one of the room in the house into her 'CO Office'
When she starts hanging up a clipboard by the front door that says "Routine Orders", and expects you to read it every time you come home.
When all the interpretive art in the house is replaced by classic war paintings like 'Vimy Ridge'.
When instead of a wedding picture she has a picture of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman on the wall.
When she gets rid of her Shania Twain and starts listening to bagpipes.
When you get told that everyone knows she wears the pants in your house.
And finally, from Hot lips… When she says ‘a wife can never be "Too Army".
Contributions (in order of guest appearance): Paracowboy; Wookilar; Centurian1985; Cdn. Royal; Muffin; William Webb Ellis; Von Garvin; Hot Lips; Mud Recce Man; Pea; Haggis; George Wallace; Rhibwolf; Bograt; Afireinside13; Michael Dorosh; Scants; DFW2T; ArmyVern
(Apologizes for any rewording – all changes intended to enhance brevity and/or clarity)
When Is She “Too Army” – The Army.ca Compilation
Thread started by Paracowboy 12May06
Idea for compilation from Mud Recce Man
Compiled by Centurian1985
You know she’s ‘too army’ when….
When she says "Say again" instead of "Pardon me?"
When she ends phone calls with "Bye-bye, Out."
When she can run Timmy's out to you and the boys on a grid reference.
When she calls people "weak"
When she says "Roger" instead of "I understand".
When she mocks war movies for being inaccurate.
When you complain that the dog has tracked mud all over your pillow she says "What are you bitchin' for? It's dry."
When she says "one more for the regiment!”.
When your buddies call her ‘Sergeant-Major’.
When she makes fun of officer's drill.
When she says "Stupid Army!" more than you do.
When she knows your service number by heart.
When her weapons drills are smoother and faster than yours.
When she arranges the houseplants into a ‘hide’ by the front door.
When she swigs back a can of beer faster than you can.
When she gets drunk she flips off the neighbors and pees into the potted plants.
When she goes to get her hair cut, she goes to the barber for a ‘high and tight’
When she slaps a unit sticker on the back of your bed’s headboard.
When eating Mexican food, she slaps a burrito in your hand and yells “fire in the hole!”
When driving through town she calls out grid coordinates instead of street names.
When she has a sandbagged ‘sunning trench’ in the back yard instead of a sunroom.
When she thinks Patton and Rommel should have gone ‘mano-a-mano’ in tanks.
When she calls the ‘fat cow’ at the customer service desk a ‘stupid wog’.
When her high-heeled shoes have a better shine than your parade boots.
When her car has a cutting bar on the hood to ‘prevent being hit by communication wire’.
When she refuses to wash dishes or cook because that’s “women’s work”.
When she writes out a PER for you on every anniversary.
When she wants to put up concrete anti-tank traps instead of wooden fencing.
When she installs booby traps on the walking path down the side of the house.
When she refers to her breasts as ‘weapons of mass distraction’.
When she thinks the French ‘wussed out’ in WW1 and 2.
When you put a large decorative rock in the front yard and she paints it white.
When she threatens to march your teenage son down to the recruiting center when he turns 18.
When the sunroof on her Toyota Corolla has a pintle mount beside it.
When she hands you an MIR chit from her Doctor authorizing her to wear Birkenstocks.
When she says ‘Pass the f*cking potatoes, babe’ at the dinner table.
When she says ‘Sounds like a personal problem’.
When she says ‘Suck it up, Princess!’.
When she says ‘Use your drill voice!’.
When she considers ‘drill’ to be foreplay.
When she refers to a condom as a ‘BFA’.
When she says “Yep, it looks good-to-go"
When she says “OK, so you've got your TD and your FOA this month. Hand it over."
When she is talking to her friend on the phone and refers to you as "Sunray-Minor"
When she moves in and treats the event as a change of command ceremony.
When she announces the beginning of a ‘life-long R2I practical PO check’.
When she refers to the wedding as the Change of Command Ceremony.
When she starts calling the kitchen ‘the Mess’ and the basement becomes the ‘QM’.
When she refers to her trips to the backyard as ‘going into the field’.
When she starts calling food ‘Rations’.
When she thinks of the bedroom as the place you ‘go to ground’.
When she adopts any tile of Niner, Sunray, Super Sunray, or Niner Domestic.
When she replaces the kitchen and bathroom with the terms ‘the Galley’ and ‘the Head’.
When she announces that the stove is ‘manned and ready’ prior to supper.
When she refuses to allow you to participate in ‘maneuvers’ until the kitchen is ‘secured’
When she can shoot better than you.
When she refers to you as "F and E."
When her email address is "ninerdomestic@xxxxx" and she likes it.
When the only job she’s good for is Sgt Maj…any lower and she'd be in jail.
When she knows what DAG, M113, CFPAF, LTA, TD, IRRP, BOR, and CoC all mean.
When she gets upset because you use too many words instead of short acronyms like ASAP.
When she knows the rank structure better than you.
When all your battalion staff know her by her first name… and like her.
When she decides to name the first born after a famous soldier (i.e. Chesty Puller). Even if it’s a girl.
When she forms a local emergency militia group out of the other soldier's wives.
When she has a diagram of the supermarket marked with objective lines and 'probable areas of engagement'.
When she says you're not allowed to drink 8 hours before beginning 'infiltration operations' in the master bedroom.
When she announces she's doing to 'do a recce' before entering a store.
When she says "get it in ya" to the kids when they are trying to eat breakfast.
When she reminds you of the marksmanship principles prior to sex so you dont forget to 'follow-through'.
When she goes to park the car, lines up her car bumper with the cars on either side, and then shouts 'Still!'
When just before doing yard work she does a time appreciation and gives a warning order.
When she refers to your talking to other women as a 'security breach'.
When after you have had a fight, she maintains 'radio silence' until you 'authenticate'.
When cleaning the yard, she lines up the kids and does a 'brass sweep'.
When buying a new house she wants an estimate of 'house defence' capability.
When she trains the dog, it is not allowed to sit until she says 'at ease'.
When she refers to you spending the night on the couch as 'forced rest'.
When she calls on 'O group" and does a combat appreciation prior to your mother coming over.
When her Int Network was better than yours.
When she says we have to adopt 'countermeasures' to prevent being gossiped about on the local rumor mill.
When she charges you for an ND
When one of your kids asks "Daddy, why would mommy want you to 'follow-through'?".
When she agrees to marry on the Regimental Birthday so you both can easily remember the date.
When you refer to her as your "Oberbefehlshaber".
When she knows the first names of all your senior NCOs and officers
When she tries to time the birth of your first child on the Regimental Birthday.
When she tells your son to "Pick up the pace!" while delivering papers.
When she want's to gather in the kids she puts up her hand and yells "On me!"
When she want's a group's attention she yells "Listen up!"
When you mention there is a "boy's night out" coming up...that day, she hands you a leave pass stamped "Denied"...
When you disappoint her in your "marital duties" and she puts you on "Verbal Warning" with one of her friends as a witness...
When she tells you to "flash up the c/s" on a cold winter morning...
When she mumbles "good we have double-banked comm's" when you both go out somewhere with your cell phones...
When she owns more camo pants and tops then you have CADPAT...and gets excited when the Canex gets some "new kit in".
When you are complaining about something and she says "sort yourself out" or "get a grip on yourself!"
When you aren't up at 0600 on Saturday to run with her and she refers to you as "slack and idle" when you wake up...
When she refers to getting together with the girls as "PD stuff"...
When you go shopping, she communicates with you using hand signs and signals to indicate how many loaves of bread she wants you to grab off the shelf.
When, while getting ready to leave the house, she yells "5 minutes notice to move people!"
When you sit down to start your vacation plans, she grabs the map and says "First I will orient you to the ground...”
When she mumbles "fu%#ing civvies".
When she is ready to leave the house she tells the kids to "mount up".
When she tells you now that the kids are in kindergarden it's time to bulid the MOCK tower in the backyard!
When you turn out the lights she waits a few minutes to get her 'night vision'.
When she makes you stand at attention when she enters and leaves the room.
When she has a spotting scope and the ranges marked out across the back yard.
When she calls the back fence the "Ho Chi Minh trail" because the squirrels run across it all day long.
When she wants someone for 'KP' when she needs help in the kitchen.
When during war movies she predicts what tactics the good guys will use if they are ambushed.
When during war movies she predicts what tactics she would use if she were the bad guys.
When all of the kids have camouflaged bed covers instead of Mickey Mouse, Toy Story or Little Mermaid.
When instead of backpacks she buys the kids rucksacks for carrying their books and lunch.
When instead of a sandwich she hands the kids IMP's or MRE's
When she knows how to make an 'MRE bomb… very well.
When you come home from work she comes outside and asks if you need a 'ground guide'.
When she puts you on report for going into the fridge outside of posted regular meal hours.
When she turns one of the room in the house into her 'CO Office'
When she starts hanging up a clipboard by the front door that says "Routine Orders", and expects you to read it every time you come home.
When all the interpretive art in the house is replaced by classic war paintings like 'Vimy Ridge'.
When instead of a wedding picture she has a picture of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman on the wall.
When she gets rid of her Shania Twain and starts listening to bagpipes.
When you get told that everyone knows she wears the pants in your house.
And finally, from Hot lips… When she says ‘a wife can never be "Too Army".
Contributions (in order of guest appearance): Paracowboy; Wookilar; Centurian1985; Cdn. Royal; Muffin; William Webb Ellis; Von Garvin; Hot Lips; Mud Recce Man; Pea; Haggis; George Wallace; Rhibwolf; Bograt; Afireinside13; Michael Dorosh; Scants; DFW2T; ArmyVern
(Apologizes for any rewording – all changes intended to enhance brevity and/or clarity)
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