Tough situation - Girlfriend Pregnant - Common-Law ?

[Bruce Monkhouse]

So you KNOW HE ASKED AND GOT PERMISSION, or he TOLD you he asked and got permission?


If not you could be giving out the wrong impression to these young uns....

 

[WCST]

First of all, congrats on having a baby. Now you both need to confirm it and decide what you're going to do from here.

I'm not going to tell you to get married. If you want to stay common-law, then that's what's right for you at this time. I AM going to tell you that:

Your girlfriend will survive the 6 months away (I thought basic was much shorter than this, but it's been a while since I took it  ) from you. Morning sickness or not  :, as long as she can talk to you at least every second day (invest in a phone card), things will work out. Communication goes a long way to making any relationship last. My husband was at sea for 6 months while I was at home with a newborn. Believe me, I wish he'd have been gone during my pregnancy and not after I had the baby.

Once you know where you're going to be for your QL3 trg (I'm assuming it's either Halifax or Esquimalt based on your user name), then you can ask for help from your Chain of Comd in assisting you with getting your g/f to move closer to you if that's what you both decide. If you make her your NOK, then you're entitled to LTA and reverse LTA to go see her (or she you) once a year. Perhaps you can even get a SISIP loan to bring her out and set her up in an apartment until you're allowed to claim common-law or move off base.

Contacting the recruiting centre is also a good suggestion, however remember their bottom line - they want recruits and many places will tell you whatever you want to hear in order to get you to sign. Ask them to show you the policies that they're quoting you.

Good luck with whatever you chose.

M :brickwall:

 

[NavyShooter]

Gidday,

Firstoff, a baby is usually not a "problem" as such...they grow into that status later in life   so perhaps Congratulations are in order first.

The timing may not be the best for the three of you, but if you're heading off shortly, you'll get most of your initial training done, and may be posted to a new base before the young'un pops out.

I was away for 2/3 of my wife's last pregnancy, and the little guy popped out fine last month.  Now I'm at sea again.

There's some good stuff in this thread regarding what you can do for quarters, and such on base. 

I'll suggest seeing a doc and getting it confirmed.

I'll suggest that whatever decision you and your significant other make should be done together. 

I'll suggest getting ahold of the recruiters and bringng them into the loop.

What follows that is based on what you and she decide, and then what the recruiters are able to help you with.  It's not so bad as you think.  I don't know what the recruits earn nowadays, but I know for sure they earn a lot more than the $1225 a month I got when I was in basic.  Once you're done basic, you're making the better part of $30K or so....a liveable wage. 

So, congrats to you, and I hope your dilemna isn't keeping you up too many nights.  The baby will later  

NavyShooter

 

[big bad john]

NavyShooter good post, good advice!

 

[MuffinMix]

If you are in a long-term relationship (IE - long enough to be considered common-law by the military - 1 year), and you are committed to that relationship, why not get married??  The legal effect is the same as common-law.

Yes, and you get much better presents! 

But... I did the common-law non-sense for the benefits about 6 months before we actually married.