The WTF News Files

[cupper]

Check out the video here - keep your mouths empty.
http://asmdss.com/video/video-the-funniest-soldier-of-the-month-board-you-will-ever-see
MM

Awesome. Just Awesome.

So much for being able to think on his feet. [

 

[CougarKing]

:facepalm:

Yahoo Daily Buzz

Woman rescued after jumping into ocean to swim for cruise ship that left her behind
Karina Nowysz
The Daily Buzz
March 28, 2016

A woman is lucky to be alive after jumping into the Atlantic Ocean to catch up with a cruise ship that left port without her.

Susan Brown, 65, was pulled out of the water by fisherman, who heard her cries after she was swimming for more than three hours chasing her ship, the Marco Polo, Daily MailOnline reports. She had suffered from severe hypothermia when she was rescued from the icy waters.

(...SNIPPED)

 

[Journeyman]

.....chasing her ship, the Marco Polo....

Seriously?  No one else?  "MARCO...."

 

[cavalryman]

And now for the rest of the story
http://the5b.com/angry-mom-pt4/
[

 

[cupper]

And now for the rest of the story
http://the5b.com/angry-mom-pt4/
[

:rofl:

I needed a good laugh today.

 

[The Bread Guy]

And now for the rest of the story
http://the5b.com/angry-mom-pt4/
[

"Calm down - he's watching" -- gold, Jerry, gold!

Meanwhile, another one I couldn't possibly make up ...

It is illegal to have sex with a sentient military-owned tank in Japan. According to obscenity lawyer Myles Jackman, fraternization, mechanophilia and property laws make it illegal. A private tank is fair, but a military tank can’t consent and it’s considered defamation of military property.

Even if she’s super flirty and very much interested in you.

Panzermadels is a video game about dating tanks. As revenge for America nuking Hiroshima and Nagasaki in World War II, Japan developed the technology to fit the era’s tanks into teenage anime girl bodies. The plan is for the tank-girls to seduce U.S. Army students into compromising situations.

Yes, it really is as bizarre a premise as it sounds.

So, here’s the deal with Panzermadels — you play a military recruit named Erwin Lemmor who has, for some reason, ended up at a Japanese school where all the other students are tanks. He thought he was there to learn about tanks, but no, it’s a school for educating sentient tanks.

They look like Japanese teenagers, but fire projectiles, visit mechanics for repairs, have brakes that can lock up and have personalities tied to the cultural attitudes of their respective countries during World War II ...

Here's the release trailer on YouTube ...

 

[jollyjacktar]

Nippon is uber strange.

 

[medicineman]

I was very happy to see Mrs I Just Got My Son On Permanent Extras come back for an encore...some people just don't get it.

MM

 

[cupper]

Nippon is uber strange.

I think it's either the food or the commuter trains that do it.

My cousin has lived there for 25 years.

She started posting stories of her daily train rides and photos of the food she is served when she got on Facebook.

Both are bizarre to say the least.

 

[jollyjacktar]

My oldest was there last year for a month.  Some of what he experienced was bizarre, true enough.

 

[jollyjacktar]

Mom hires stripper to perform a lap dance for her EIGHT-YEAR-OLD son during his birthday party

Video at story link

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3518646/Outrage-mom-hires-stripper-perform-lap-dance-EIGHT-YEAR-OLD-son-birthday-party.html#ixzz44aEfMV7N
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

 

[Scarlett]

Mom hires stripper to perform a lap dance for her EIGHT-YEAR-OLD son during his birthday party

  ???

Edit: April Fools?

 

[CougarKing]

Pics of the robot at the link below: Talk about super creepy! 

Yahoo News

This Guy Has Spent £35,000 Building A Robot That Looks Like Scarlett Johansson

Yahoo News
April 1, 2016

If you’re thinking you recognise this face, you’d be right.

Ricky Ma, below right, has spent £35,000 fulfilling a childhood dream to build a robot – and it looks startlingly like Scarlett Johansson.

The 42-year-old has spent a year and a half constructing a mechanical interior covered by a 3D-printed skeleton.

(...SNIPPED)

 

[Retired AF Guy]

Nippon is uber strange.

Might be related to this: Girls und Panzer TV series.

 

[jollyjacktar]

That just confirms my suspicions.

 

[jollyjacktar]

Grab your inflatable peckers, it's time again for the Fertility Festival in Japan.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/travel_news/article-3521232/Size-matters-Japan-phallus-festival.html

And for those of you who want to have the cremation simulation to make you go ahhhhhh!  Head to China, where you can be reborn through a latex womb and stuff afterwards.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3522942/Would-ride-death-simulator-Attraction-designed-s-like-cremated-opens-China.html

 

[The Bread Guy]

You had me at ...

Grab your inflatable peckers ...

;D

 

[kratz]

You had me at ... ;D

DC Stations...gotta keep the boat afloat.  [

 

[runormal]

It seems that this has happened multiple times in the past few months, I apologize in advance if someone has posted a similar story.

http://kfor.com/2016/04/08/employees-at-oklahoma-burger-king-bust-out-windows-after-prank-call/

Employees at Oklahoma Burger King bust out windows after prank call
POSTED 10:00 PM, APRIL 8, 2016, BY KRISTEN SHANAHAN, UPDATED AT 12:30PM, APRIL 9, 2016

SHAWNEE, Okla. - A bizarre prank call is costing an Oklahoma fast food restaurant thousands of dollars.

Police said someone claiming to be with the fire department convinced employees to vandalize their own store.

Employees at Shawnee’s Burger King are not having it their way.

The windows are boarded up, and the inside seating area is closed.

They are dealing with about $10,000 in damage and a loss of business all because of a prank call Thursday night.

“The employee stated that a person called them and told them there were high levels of carbon monoxide in their building, and they needed to break out all their windows,” said Thomas Larman with the Shawnee Fire Department.

In a panic, workers used chairs to shatter the glass.

When firefighters got there, they used a device to check the business but found no signs of the deadly gas.

They were alarmed when they found out the prankster claimed to be one of their own.

“It is a little upsetting that they would try to give the fire department a black eye,” Larman said. “We would never do anything like that. We’re here to serve the public, protect the public.”

Earlier this year, a similar situation happened at a California Burger King.

Employees were told they had a gas leak and needed to smash out windows to ventilate the building.

With chairs and a car, they followed orders.

“For a prank, this is very bizarre. I’ve never heard of anything like this,” Larman said.

As damage is being repaired at the Shawnee location, officials are warning restaurant owners near and far.

“We would never call you and say you have high levels of carbon monoxide in your building. We would never tell you to destroy your property,” Larman said.

Shawnee police are investigating.

Officers said the prankster’s number was blocked.

Right now, they are working to figure out who made the call.

A manager at the Burger King told NewsChannel 4 the inside of the restaurant may be closed for a few days, but the drive-through is open.

 

[mariomike]

^ Sounds like it is happening all over the U.S., "Not only did employees smash the windows, but a manager went as far as ramming his car into building."
Burger King in Morro Bay, California.

Instead of destroying property, why not evacuate and pull down the fire alarm handle on the way out the door? Let the professionals handle it.