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I figure I just have to share this with everyone, because, needless to say I found it quite funny! Yesterday I was talking to someone who claimed to be a reservist Corporal in an electronic warfare unit. Needless to say, sure I initially gave him the benefit of the doubt, but soon the phoniness started showing. Here's basically what our conversations were:
ME: So, in your unit, what courses did you need to get your second hook
HIM: Courses? What courses? I didn't need to take any courses.
ME *shaking head*: So you're saying no QL4 or trade courses?
HIM: You don't need courses for anything but officer stuff
ME: So....yea....how about....those.... C7A1's?
HIM: They're such garbage, they jam all the time.
ME: Well if that's the case, you're not cleaning your weapon enough.
HIM: It has nothing to do with cleaning, it has to do with a badly designed weapon
ME: <silence> Right. So.....yea....well, then, what's your procedure for the weapon stopping with the bolt partially forward?
HIM: Pull that handle thing behind the iron sights, dig the round out and tap on the clip bottom
ME: I see, well the way I was taught was (indicates procedure for a partially forward stoppage)
HIM: You think you'd do that in the field? No. You (indicates his way of removing stoppages).
ME: So what exactly do you do in the field?
HIM: Escort the LACV's (I later looked up that acronym and found out that it's a hovercraft) and send co-ordinates
ME: Don't you mean the Coyote?
HIM: Coyote? What's that, is it new?
ME (patronizing him at this point for comedy value): So yea, is it a tough job?
HIM: Oh yea, it's impossible to hear anything with the noise of battles, and we have to relay co-ordinates.
ME: Well, the herbies have to live with that all the time, and they do quite well
HIM: Herbies?
ME: Arty
HIM: You mean the armour?
ME: No, Artillery
HIM: Nah they don't have to deal with having to listen for co-ordinates over battle noise
ME *in shock from the last comment*: Well last I checked, they have to deal with fire orders, and artillery isn't exactly quiet as a whisper when it's firing
HIM: Yea...well
Here's where I decided to test him using my meager military knowledge (read: what they've taught me so far in basic)
ME: So, yea, say you're on parade, and you're ordered to Present Arms, what *would* the timing be?
HIM: You count down from 10 to zero.
ME: Ah, I see, I'm sure the RSM would love that
HIM: We don't have RSM's in the Canadian Army.
ME: I'm positive we have RSM's in the Forces
HIM: Nah, that's American
Needless to say the conversation went on like this, until I got so tired of hearing the bulls*it that I left. Those phonies *shakes fist*, what a funny lot. The only thing he's the Corporal of, is his Counter-Strike section.....but then again I'm sure he'd say something like 'It's not a section, it's called an element'. If anyone else has good stories about phonies, please share them. They're always worth a laugh....and a head shake of pity.
ME: So, in your unit, what courses did you need to get your second hook
HIM: Courses? What courses? I didn't need to take any courses.
ME *shaking head*: So you're saying no QL4 or trade courses?
HIM: You don't need courses for anything but officer stuff
ME: So....yea....how about....those.... C7A1's?
HIM: They're such garbage, they jam all the time.
ME: Well if that's the case, you're not cleaning your weapon enough.
HIM: It has nothing to do with cleaning, it has to do with a badly designed weapon
ME: <silence> Right. So.....yea....well, then, what's your procedure for the weapon stopping with the bolt partially forward?
HIM: Pull that handle thing behind the iron sights, dig the round out and tap on the clip bottom
ME: I see, well the way I was taught was (indicates procedure for a partially forward stoppage)
HIM: You think you'd do that in the field? No. You (indicates his way of removing stoppages).
ME: So what exactly do you do in the field?
HIM: Escort the LACV's (I later looked up that acronym and found out that it's a hovercraft) and send co-ordinates
ME: Don't you mean the Coyote?
HIM: Coyote? What's that, is it new?
ME (patronizing him at this point for comedy value): So yea, is it a tough job?
HIM: Oh yea, it's impossible to hear anything with the noise of battles, and we have to relay co-ordinates.
ME: Well, the herbies have to live with that all the time, and they do quite well
HIM: Herbies?
ME: Arty
HIM: You mean the armour?
ME: No, Artillery
HIM: Nah they don't have to deal with having to listen for co-ordinates over battle noise
ME *in shock from the last comment*: Well last I checked, they have to deal with fire orders, and artillery isn't exactly quiet as a whisper when it's firing
HIM: Yea...well
Here's where I decided to test him using my meager military knowledge (read: what they've taught me so far in basic)
ME: So, yea, say you're on parade, and you're ordered to Present Arms, what *would* the timing be?
HIM: You count down from 10 to zero.
ME: Ah, I see, I'm sure the RSM would love that
HIM: We don't have RSM's in the Canadian Army.
ME: I'm positive we have RSM's in the Forces
HIM: Nah, that's American
Needless to say the conversation went on like this, until I got so tired of hearing the bulls*it that I left. Those phonies *shakes fist*, what a funny lot. The only thing he's the Corporal of, is his Counter-Strike section.....but then again I'm sure he'd say something like 'It's not a section, it's called an element'. If anyone else has good stories about phonies, please share them. They're always worth a laugh....and a head shake of pity.