My "dishonorable" Decision

[bartbandyrfc]

Elecgitarguy,

I agree with most of the other posts. As others have said, family is important.  Although they disagree are and are sometimes insulting in their criticism, I suggest you just tell them they are entitled to their opinion and that you insist that they respect yours.  Support is nice, but respect is more important.  Although it is hard to not get emotional, just remain calm with your family.  They are likely scared, especially your brother. Try to remain dispassionate in your convictions, but respect their fears and feelings.  Definitely do not walk away from them.

As a previous poster has said, it is very important that you continue to maintain the strength of your convictions.  There will be times when your passion for this calling will flag in strength.  It may be during training, or it may be later on when you see some decision being made that you think is stupid.  The were definitely be a time when the flame will ebb and you will want to quit.  The lack of support from your family will sap your strength too.  Keep the faith, and always go back to the deep feeling that you now have for your calling.  You have character - so I expect this will not be an issue for you.

If you wish to read a fantastic novel that deals with these conflicts and emotions, I suggest "Once an Eagle" by Anton Myer.  Although it is about an American soldier and during an earlier time, the conflicts that the protagonist has with his wife over his decision to remain in the army are worth reading about for perspectives.

Good luck, and we are all glad you are joining us.

BB

PS When you are away, phone your mother - A LOT.

 

[Celticgirl]

Mothers rarely want to see their sons join up.  Ditto for wives watching their husbands get on the plane. 

Ditto fathers and their daughters. All I've heard lately from my father is, "the military is not for you", "you can't handle it", "you're not the military type", "military kids are brats", etc, etc. I don't happen to share those views. I don't think I am "making a big mistake" by joining. I think I am following the dream I have had for 18+ years and finally doing what I want and not what others want. Life is too short. My daughter is supportive. My fiance is supportive (he's in the Air Force, too). Ultimately, I think that my father will come around, and even if he doesn't, he won't stop loving me because I am in the CF. He can continue to disapprove, but he cannot live my life for me and he clearly doesn't understand that this is the path I want to be on...this is what is going to make me happy and fulfilled.

I only hope that when my daughter tells me what her career aspirations are, I can keep my mouth shut if I think she is making "a big mistake" (short of wanting to be a drug dealer or porn star, of course, lol). Support is wonderful if you have it, but don't let it deter you if you don't.

 

[Haletown]

stick to yer guns laddie.  Well done.   

Sounds like your family is afflicted with a high dosage of socialist modernism mumbo-jumboism.

Buy them a matching set of Che Guevera  T shirts and they'll be happy.

Meanwhile, do your best and good luck in basic.

 

[Hawk]

Best wishes in your chosen path!

When I joined - in the deep dark past ('60's), my parents were sort-of ok with it. Dad had served in WWII, and Mom was a bit nervous of the whole thing, but knew if my mind was made up, there was no sense arguing with me. Funny thing is, Dad caught proper sh** from HIS mother. For whatever reason, it was important to Grandma that I bore the family name. All my life I got "The only M****n girl doesn't do this, or that".  "The only M****n"  girl did exactly as she liked (still does)! I wrote Grandma often, and took lots of pictures of where I'd been and my friends to show her. She came around by Christmas.

There was one girl in my Cornwallis class who's father locked here in her room so she'd miss the train to Cornwallis. Her brother helped her get out the window and took her to the train station on the handlebars of his bike.

Hang in there - your future's worth whatever you need to endure right now.


Hawk