How to get family on board

[bigwig]

This sort of relates to the thread of civvies being in the dark. All of the civilians that criticize you probably don't have the slightest idea of what the army is about (besides what they see the Americans doing in Iraq). Everyone automatically assumes that you will be immediately deployed to Iraq and get shot and that is that. I went through the same thing with my family. They thought I was crazy and I had no support going into it. I felt almost betrayed by my family because I grew up with them saying I could do anything I wanted to do when I grow up and they will support me. When I told them I'm going into the army they laughed at me and said "OK, I'll believe it when I see it" thinking I wasn't serious. I came home the next day with the application and then their faces looked a lot different from the day before.

It also makes me angry when people criticize others for joining because we are the only onces with the guts to do it. I don't think anyone should be criticized for defending their country, infact, I think they should be appraised for it.

So just do what you want to do and who cares what other people think, as long as you're happy.

 

[kmcc]

Thanks for your reply. If I had gone to college or plan to. the money would have been found, but I don't want to put my parents in that situation. I know what I'm getting myself into. I've been doing as much research as possible and I look forward to it.

It also makes me angry when people criticize others for joining because we are the only onces with the guts to do it. I don't think anyone should be criticized for defending their country, infact, I think they should be appraised for it.

So just do what you want to do and who cares what other people think, as long as you're happy.

I completly agree.


edit: I forgot to add that I've been going through this for several months and have started the process of signing up. I'm going for 1. VEH TECH (411), MED A (737) and Sig Op (215)

 

[white]

I've also had the same experience of no support from anyone. The only person who has supported mefor trying to join the army was my mom everyone else says I'm an idiot. I've had one person tell me that if I get in and die when I'm on duty he would come to my funeral and say  "I told you you were an idiot for joining and now you're dead for nothing".  Even with all this negative talk and no support I will stop at nothing to try and join the army.

 

[skura]

The trick is to completely ignore anyone who says "You can't do it."   In my case it's kind of hard since it's my mom who's telling me she doesn't want me to go, but since she's my mom I know that deep down she's happy that I've made a decision I can stick with and happy that I now have a goal in life, and I'm sure everyone else's parents who say "They don't their baby do die / go" are just as proud as the parent who agrees with your decision.   Friends on the other hand are much easier to ignore, or even adults who arent related to you because no body knows you better then yourself, and if you want in the Army, then come heck or high water you will make it (if you really do want it as bad as you think you do, that is).   So take it from me, because I've been going though this "Don't join the Canadian Army" ALL summer, and I still want in, even more then I did before.   Maybe you can chalk the negativity up towards motivation, and use it to become a better soldier.

Good luck in joining, BMQ, and everything else! (not just Kmcc, but everyone who has to do this "alone")...

 

[QORvanweert]

Anyone who criticizes will admire you fourfold for sticking with your decision. I found that many of them wanted me to suceed but only were trying to cover their own arse in case it didn't work out... you made a great decision

 

[scaddie]

Yeah I know, I've been through this with all my family and friends too. My civi friends think I'm completely nuts, but it's only because they don't really understand what goes on in the army, and what is in it for me. It's not something that you have to do for your entire life, but it can certainly give you an idea or direction for your future. That's what I'm looking forward to. You just have to ignore it, but you can use it as motivation to do even better. I've worked for the forces this past two years, and have met some awesome people. Every single one of them is totally supportive of girls joining the army. They eventually convinced me to get in. If you want to chat, you can get me on MSN or ICQ.

 

[AlphaCharlie]

My brother says I'm crazy and the pay is peanuts, barely beer money

The check I just got cashed for $980 is a bit more than beer money. And that was just TD claim. (i.e. sleeping money)

 

[arctictern]

LoL just show them the pay scales and they'll see how wrong they are. I think for NCM's its minmum 45k a year after 5 years which is good and if you showed someone the pay scale for an officer they would probably sh!t them selves.

 

[portcullisguy]

The pay scales aren't amazing but they are workable.  I doubt you'd be a MCpl after only 5 years in the regs, but the pay is comparable to other areas of the public service - which isn't surprising since the Treasury Board sets the pay for both the CF and the rest of the public service.

Four years ago, not only was I not in the army, but I wasn't even seriously considering joining.  I was in my third year working for customs, and looking forward to going permanent there, learning more of the job, and moving up in seniority and pay.  By the next year, I had become so fed up with some aspects of my job, and looked to the CF as a way of expanding the depth and breadth of my experiences, learning leadership and achieving positive goals outside of work that I could feel a sense of accomplishment for.

Fast forward to Sept. 2004 and here I am, conducting pre-deployment training for Op ATHENA.  My family and friends have been very supportive over the past three years, and I think they can see that this is what I want to do, this is the contribution I want to make and I'm serious about it all.

Kmcc, your family and friends will come around, too.  They will change their tune when they see that you are dedicated to helping yourself and others, learning new things, and serving your nation and its' citizens.

I find that here in Canada, we suffer from a sort of "crabs in the bucket" mentality -- the other crabs work together to keep the few from climbing out and escaping.  You will encounter the other crabs, working to keep you from getting out of the bucket, the naysayers and gloom-and-doom types.  But once you commit, once you show you are willing to make personal sacrifices, they'll come around, and they'll wish they had the personal drive and committment to follow your lead.

 

[kmcc]

When you calm down and read over what you've said you realize just how much you left out. I feel rather childish now because of that : I'm just going to continue to grin and bear it like I have been for the last 6 months. I'll just have to prove to them what I already know, that I'm going to be a damn good solider and will succeed in what I've chosen to do with my life

Kmcc

 

[jswift872]

I'm looking forward to hearing the hippies call me a baby-killer and a war-mongeror when they find out, its the 90's and I have kids at my school living in the '60's using the slogans and everything. You just have to keep a stiff upper lip and do what you know is right.

last time i checked it was 04' lol, anyway..no one supported me, i was a alone person myself, and look at me, awaiting SQ, to start..All i have to say

 

[Shulaev]

Ha I voided my football(soccer) scholarship to be in the position that im in right now , imagine what my parents thought , but like the girl said it feels right and thats whats important , besides RMC is always an option .

 

[IWannaBePPCLI]

Kmcc 


I am going through what you are at this time, I have gotten ZERO support from my family, friends and anyone else i talk to.  I hope that you will have fun in the CF and I will just let you know, I'm all for you, and also i wanted to say what i'm going for, RHLI for the COOP BMQ and then RCR for fulltime Infantry.

I wish you luck in getting into the CF and I hope you like your job!!

 

[skura]

In my case it's kind of hard since it's my mom who's telling me she doesn't want me to go, but since she's my mom I know that deep down she's happy that I've made a decision I can stick with and happy that I now have a goal in life

What a load that was...just when I thought my mom was warming up to the thought of me in the army she walks in on me and my dad talking about my profession to be and says "that's right, help him get killed before he hits 20"...and then find out she thinks I don't respect her.

Funny how a situation can change just like that...

 

[Chainsaw]

For the longest time I though that I had no one to talk to about what I wanted to do with my life. I was right....until I TRIED talking to my friends! I now have one friend who supports what I'm doing, though she doesn't like it. But for me, the military is my calling, and I am not going to say no regardless of what people say. My parents especially are hounding me about my choice. My dad is indifferent to my opinion, and while my mom is a bit better, she as well thinks I should go to university and spend the rest of my life in some office.

It's unfortunate that the people we care about cannot understand our drive, our urge to serve. I guess wanting to go PPCLI Infantry or the Combat Engineers isn't helping matters...

Meh, To hell with 'em!

Cheers,

 

[QORvanweert]

The worst type of person that you can ever run into is a "micheal moore" fan. not only have they wasted their entire lives memorizing obscure and highly dubious facts about the Bush administration, but they are extremely vocal about it. people like this, including my ex-girlfriend are spawn of the lower regions of the genetic cesspool. I have found that as I mentioned before my family supports me more then the public. I had always thought it would be the other way around... they are all alot easier to deal with if your answer them with more ridiculous facts then they are throwing at you.. a verbal pissin' contest but it works.

 

[IWannaBePPCLI]

QORvanweert,


I will give it a shot, I will try ANYTHING that may help me out!!


Thanks.

 

[BLACKBERRY]

Kmcc why do you think you would not qualify for a student loan. Everbody and there brother who has applied for one and got it. I do not see a problem unless you are not a citizen. Also, who cares what people think of you joining. If you want to do it then do it, you will have many people supporting you once you are in

 

[gun plumber]

Wow...reading everyone's stories.
Makes me wonder if I was the only person who grew up in a military family?
Almost all of my reatives have all served in the military in one form or another,and those that have'nt have grown up with it around them.
I have relatives that have served in every major conflict since the Boer War,and when I announced to my mother that I was joining the military she said "It runs in your blood".
The proudest person was my grandfather.He was a carrer soldier and served overseas during WW2.
My advise to you:Be true to ones self.If YOUwant to do it,don't let anyones misguided notions stall your efforts.Afterall,whos going to basic,you or mom?

 

[Bushman]

damn, this is a very interesting thread...... i too am seriously thinking about joining the forces, both because i have always wanted a challenge, i get bored with regular jobs, i like to help people and i want to get into Search & Rescue later on. yet when i tell my circle of friends my goals, they lash out and call me everything from "corporate killer", "fascist" (really dislike that one), "baby killer", "loser" etc etc etc etc.....


makes me really pissed off. these people (no offence to my friends), seem content to sip their lattes and dictate how the world should be. BUT, what i find funny is none of these naysayers are able to take care of themselves. basic things like fixing their own vehicle, getting their own food, building or reparing their own house, going out and working a job when they need money etc.   Whatever happened to grabbing the bull by the horns and being self sufficient? instead they b***** about how the guvmint' owes them this and that, they tell the bank that they need a credit line to payoff their credit cards, i could on for hours but the point i'm trying to make is don't let the naysayers guilt you into not doing what YOU want to do with your life. I know i am going to be facing hurdles, but i do not want to be old looking back and always wondering "could i have done it"?> i would rather try and fail than not try at all. nuff said.

this motivational rant brought to you by Bushman!!   having said all this i need to go back out and finish changing the timing belt on my truck.    

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