You know the army is getting into your brain when...

[QORvanweert]

Is it because I am in the infantry that you think I would be seriously dumb enough to try that?

I find fire picket very very lonely especially when your buddy is off taking his turn sleeping..... muhahahahaha

 

[SprCForr]

279. You've taught the kids hand signals, and you/they use them in public.
280. As a joke when the kids were little you taught them saluting on the march. Fourteen years later you can still bark out the command and the kids still execute a good salute with a great cut.

 

[bossi]

280.b.  Your five-year-old asks you to teach him how to salute ... (true story)

 

[Kat Stevens]

281- your 13 year old refers to her classmates as "greasy civies"

CHIMO,  Kat

 

[career_radio-checker]

282. You have no reservations in using the full extent of your 'drill voice' to scream out "STOP THE BUS!" to the poor bus driver who innocently closed the doors and accelerated before you could step off at your stop. Nedless to say you're in uniform and scared the heck out of the other 86 passengers who would have otherwise patiently waited for the next stop had they been in your shoes. (note: in Ottawa the bus stops are only a couple hundred meters apart.)

 

[Chewy]

You've read all 14 pages of this and you aren't even a member of the military YET!

 

[shaboing]

284.  You've read all 14 pages and still didn't catch on to the numbering system  ;D ;D : :  haha had to

 

[SprCForr]

285. It's not gossip. It's int.

 

[q_1966]

285. (The first 285 didnt really count)  Your kitten plays with a ball of paracord instead of yarn

 

[George Wallace]

Skip all the rest........Go straight to 2005......

2005.  The Jump Master Dance is your Screen Saver.

 

[davidk]

286/2006 (depending on how you want to number it) You refer to your teachers/profs as the course staff, and face directly forward at attention when they address you.

287/2007 You have a massive headache from spending hours contemplating the fact that while you call your profs "sir" you don't need to salute them.

287/2007b You get jacked up in class by a fellow student who happens to outrank you for saluting the prof anyway.

287/2007c You get jacked up by the prof for saluting.

288/2008 You no longer own any shoes except your oxford CF shoes and a pair of running shoes for 0500 PT.

289/2009 You instinctively call "Beer!" whenever someone walks into a bar with a hat on.

290/2010 You take drill paces forward when the line advances at McDonalds.

291/2011 You can't get used to the idea of being able to choose your own food at restaurants instead of it simply being luck of the draw.

292/2012 You feel the urge to tell old ladies on the bus to mold their berets properly, and make sure there's no hair or lint stuck to them.

 

[FreeFloat]

293. You order friends to "Double time it!" when you want them to hurry

294. You cannot, for the life of you, wear a civy tie with a dimple in it, nor can you fold one into it when tying the tie

295. You unconsciously count paces while walking in the mall or on the street, and reach for the pace beads to increment your count

296. When meeting with supervisors/authority figures you ALWAYS straighten up

297. You refer to duct tape as "silver gun tape"

298.  You don't understand why the patrons of local bars don't automatically buy you a round on your birthday

 

[shaboing]

299. you feel weird at your civy job cause your not in cadpat, running around everywhere you go or being yelled at

 

[nomij]

Hey everyone!  I'm just working on some gift ideas for friends and family this Christmas, and need some help getting the perfect list!  Not being in the army myself, I was hoping for some insight.  Online, all I can find are US army lists... but I think we need a good Canadian Army list.  I found a few and Canadian-ized them.  Let me know if they aren't quite right, and if there are any other suggestions, it would be interesting, and appreciated!!
Thanks again!

You might be in the Canadian Army if...

your kids weekend pass status is determined by their pt scores
your wife’s favorite lipstick colors are Olive Drab and Brown
your nicest set of clothes are your DEUs
you have more sets of Combats than civilian clothes
you look forward to getting your clothing allowance each year so you can actually shop a little
you own more pairs of combat boots than all of your shoes combined
you spend your spare time polishing your boots
you tell little kids playing hide-and-seek that it would work better in CADPATs  and Ghillie suit
You spend half of your day waiting for either orders or supplies
You understand the phrase "hurry up and wait" more now than at any other time in your life
You use acronyms in a social setting.
You compulsively walk in step with your companions
You look at an approaching individual's collar or cap before you even glance at their face
Your boss says things like,"You will be there and have fun. That's an order."
You spend half of your time feeling superior to civilians and the other half wishing you were one of them

 

[daftandbarmy]

Hey everyone!  I'm just working on some gift ideas for friends and family this Christmas, and need some help getting the perfect list!  Not being in the army myself, I was hoping for some insight.  Online, all I can find are US army lists... but I think we need a good Canadian Army list.  I found a few and Canadian-ized them.  Let me know if they aren't quite right, and if there are any other suggestions, it would be interesting, and appreciated!!
Thanks again!

You might be in the Canadian Army if...

your kids weekend pass status is determined by their pt scores
your wife’s favorite lipstick colors are Olive Drab and Brown
your nicest set of clothes are your DEUs
you have more sets of Combats than civilian clothes
you look forward to getting your clothing allowance each year so you can actually shop a little
you own more pairs of combat boots than all of your shoes combined
you spend your spare time polishing your boots
you tell little kids playing hide-and-seek that it would work better in CADPATs  and Ghillie suit
You spend half of your day waiting for either orders or supplies
You understand the phrase "hurry up and wait" more now than at any other time in your life
You use acronyms in a social setting.
You compulsively walk in step with your companions
You look at an approaching individual's collar or cap before you even glance at their face
Your boss says things like,"You will be there and have fun. That's an order."
You spend half of your time feeling superior to civilians and the other half wishing you were one of them

You might be in the Canadian Army if...

You constantly plagiarize jokes from the US military and try and convert them into jokes about the Canadian Army  ;D

 

[Fishbone Jones]

You might be in the Canadian Army if...

You constantly plagiarize jokes from the US military and try and convert them into jokes about the Canadian Army  ;D

..........and while the intent is meant to be humorous, I think it misses that point and many CF pers may take offense to some of them. Personally, I think it makes CF pers sound like they all live in trailer parks in Kentucky. Not that there's anything wrong with that

But that's just me and my  :2c:

 

[nomij]

..........and while the intent is meant to be humorous, I think it misses that point and many CF pers may take offense to some of them. Personally, I think it makes CF pers sound like they all live in trailer parks in Kentucky. Not that there's anything wrong with that

But that's just me and my  :2c:

And now I read them with a new perspective.... !
Even more of a reason to come up with a uniquely unplagiarized list!  I would not want to accidentally offend anyone! 
But some can stay.  Maybe, though, if some people could add some good Canadian ones, it would be much better!!!

Here's some of my cross off's then....

You might be in the Canadian Army if...

your kids weekend pass status is determined by their pt scores
your wife’s favorite lipstick colors are Olive Drab and Brown
your nicest set of clothes are your DEUs
you have more sets of Combats than civilian clothes
you look forward to getting your clothing allowance each year so you can actually shop a little
you own more pairs of combat boots than all of your shoes combined (Ok, my husband has more shoes, but does have FOUR pairs of combats!!!  Winter, summer, and alternating marching combat boots for long marches...)
you spend your spare time polishing your boots (Whenever he takes them out, he does polish them A LOT!)
you tell little kids playing hide-and-seek that it would work better in CADPATs  and Ghillie suit (Stay?Go?)
You spend half of your day waiting for either orders or supplies (True in ANY army!!!!)
You understand the phrase "hurry up and wait" more now than at any other time in your life
You use acronyms in a social setting.  (Whenever we visit family who are also in the forces... it's like they're speaking in CODE to me!!!!)
You compulsively walk in step with your companions (Stay?Go?)
You look at an approaching individual's collar or cap before you even glance at their face  (Stay?Go?)
Your boss says things like,"You will be there and have fun. That's an order."  (Stay?Go?)
You spend half of your time feeling superior to civilians and the other half wishing you were one of them  (Stay?Go?)

Like I said, I was hoping to come up with a good Canadian list... I'm just not in the "club" to know what to put!!!
Thanks for the perspectives and input so far!
Naomi

 

[jemcgrg]

My three roommates are in the military and polish their boots every day. Am I the only one who likes the smell of boot polish?

 

[OldSolduer]

My nicest set of clothes ARE my DEUs.................

And I own more pair of military footwear than civilian...... :-[

 

[observor 69]

Now that I am retired these are the ones I have noticed:

First thing you do when you wake up is make your bed.
Have lost the knowledge of how to mix and match civies.
Always arrive at an appointment 15 minutes early.