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What were they thinking?.....Dumb criminals.......add your dumb criminal story

Sobre driver trying to avoid RIDE stop charged

LONDON, Ont. - Police in London, Ont., said they arrested a driver who went the wrong way down a one-way street to escape a RIDE check because he thought he was drunk. He wasn’t.

Police who were staffing the RIDE check Saturday said they watched as a driver heading towards them on a one-way street stopped, did a three-point turn and drove the wrong way back up the street.

He turned onto another street before a cruiser caught up to him.

The 21-year-old driver told the officer he probably had too much to drink.

According to a breath test, he was sober.

Police charged him with dangerous driving.

:rofl:

Might I suggest the headline writer "sobre" up?  ;D
 
Maybe these guys know the guy above??  Must have been a wild weekend in London, ON.  ::)

Impaired driver had passenger on roof

LONDON, Ont. - Police say a London, Ont., man rode home on the roof of his car to avoid driving home drunk.

The problem - one of several, according to police - is the man's designated driver was allegedly drunk.

An officer spotted the car in the Pondmills area of town at about 3 a.m.Sunday.

The car was moving slowly and there was a man on the roof, police said.

According to police, the vehicle pulled into a driveway and the man on the roof jumped down.

Police said he told the officer he was the owner of the vehicle and was using a designated driver to get home.

Police allege the 24-year-old designated driver was drunk. He was charged with impaired driving and dangerous driving.

The owner was given a ticket for not riding in a seat, with a seatbelt.


 
Huh, sounds like some of the antics that went on when I was posted to London in the early 80's  ;D
 
Clumsy ninja leaves bank empty-handed

This is not the stealth you'd expect from a bank-robbing ninja.

A Saskatchewan credit union released a video of a suspect dressed all in black and carrying a curved sword who smashed his way in on April 13.

The video, from the Synergy Credit Union in Lashburn, Sask., about 35 km southeast of Lloydminster, shows the suspect poking at a banking machine with the sword, unsuccessfully, before smashing his way through a glass door and into the closed credit union.

The suspect is seen skulking around and jumping over the counters until he leaves empty-handed.

Then the wannabe robber/ninja smashes his way through another door and leaves the building moments later.

RCMP said the suspect cut himself on one of the glass doors he smashed, even though the door was actually unlocked.
 

:rofl:
 
Canadian Press link

By Tim Korte, The Associated Press

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - A Delta Air Lines flight from Los Angeles to Florida was diverted to New Mexico early Friday after a passenger sprayed the first-class cabin with a water bottle, tried to open a cabin door and threatened to blow up the aircraft.

Crew members and passengers on Delta flight 2148 to Tampa subdued Stanley Dwayne Sheffield, 46. He was taken into federal custody after the plane landed at early Friday.


FBI Supervisory Special Agent Darrin Jones said authorities do not believe the incident was related to terrorism.


Sheffield, whose hometown in Florida was not disclosed by investigators, was charged with interference with flight crew members and destruction of aircraft.


Sheffield made an initial appearance Friday before U.S. Magistrate Richard Puglisi, who scheduled preliminary and detention hearings for Monday. Assistant U.S. Attorney Chuck Barth said Sheffield remained jailed in Albuquerque.


According to a criminal complaint, the incident began 90 minutes after takeoff when a flight attendant noticed Sheffield, seated in first class, was awake and asked if he could bring anything.


Sheffield did not respond.


The flight attendant asked again 15 minutes later, again with no response.


Sheffield then went to a lavatory and, while returning, grabbed a 2-litre water bottle from a drink cart and sprayed other passengers.


"Get behind me, Satan," Sheffield told the flight attendant.


When flight attendants asked Sheffield to return to his seat, he refused, then tried to open the aircraft's main door while making threats about blowing up the airplane.


"I am going to bring this plane down," Sheffield said. The complaint said he also shouted: "You need to land this plane or I'm going to blow it up" and, "I will blow up this plane and take you all with me." He then approached the cockpit door, again shouting, "Get behind me, Satan."


Several passengers struggled with Sheffield and tied him up with seat belt extenders and nylon hand restraints.


A passenger told investigators Sheffield broke one of the restraints and a leather belt before he was subdued.


The pilot decided to land in Albuquerque, where Sheffield was taken into custody. The flight to Tampa resumed at 4 a.m.


Susan Elliott, a spokeswoman at Delta's headquarters in Atlanta, said the aircraft, an Airbus A320, and its 100 passengers and seven crew members were never in jeopardy.


"It is impossible to open a cabin door during flight because of the pressurization of the aircraft," she said.
 
Article Link

The tables have turned on one Ontario man who, after calling police to report a theft, was charged himself with stealing.

Police in Peterborough, Ont., say a 22-year-old man called them Saturday to report the theft of $1,000 in tools from his storage locker.

It turned out that there were outstanding warrants for his arrest on shoplifting-related theft charges.

::)
 
I agree with the suggestion this news report reads like a bad movie plot.  :nod:

from theguardian.ca

Road trip to see erotic dancers ends in armed robbery, arson spree 
The Guardian


Two Kings County men charged with a series of crimes in New Brunswick that include attempted robbery, arson and obstruction of justice committed their crimes in part to finance a road trip to see some exotic dancers.

Details of the mini crime spree, which reads like a bad movie script, came out Monday during bail hearings in provincial court in Moncton for William Sturgess, age 27, of Montague, and Jonathan Compton, age 27, of Peters Road.

Information obtained through the Times & Transcript in Moncton indicated Sturgess and Compton had been drinking and smoking marijuana the day the offences were committed.

They began their crime spree by breaking into a number of cottages in the Montague area.

While there they stole a Honda Accord to transport them to Dieppe where they hoped to see exotic dancers strut their stuff at Angie's Show Palace.

Realizing they would have no money to spend at the strip club when they got there they decided to rob Read's Corner Esso in Summerside.

South East RCMP Const. Andy Paynter said the two men who robbed the store had their faces masked and claimed to be carrying a gun.

They took cash, cigarettes and chocolate bars for the road trip.

Upon arrival in New Brunswick they got lost, and never did find the exotic dance club.

What they did find was trouble.

The trouble began in Aulac where they robbed the Irving Big Stop.

One of the accused waited in the car while the other man entered the store and asked for directions to Moncton.

He was wearing brown coveralls and a hooded sweater with a skeleton design on it.

He left the store only to return moments later wearing the same clothes, only with the hood pulled up to hide his face.

He pushed the clerk around and informed him he had a gun.

But the robbery was foiled when a trucker entered the store.

With nothing to show for his efforts the would-be robber fled the store, jumped into the waiting Honda Accord and took off.

A witness saw him getting into the car.

They headed for Moncton but got lost again.

Heading down the Aulac Road they crashed the car into a guardrail, turned around and backtracked.

Not long afterwards the car broke down.

They decided to push the car into a ditch and set it on fire.

Police were responding to the robbery when they were tipped off to the burning car.

Discovering that the burning vehicle matched the description of the vehicle from the robbery they arrested Sturgess and Compton as they walked away from the scene.

Paynter said surveillance video in Aulac and Summerside showed the clothes worn by the robbers matched the clothing worn by the suspects when they were arrested.

At the conclusion of their bail hearing Judge Irwin Lampert remanded both accused until their matters are dealt with by the courts.

Neither Burgess nor Compton were represented by counsel at their bail hearing.

Lampert asked both men if they wanted publication bans placed on their hearings. Sturgess asked for the ban but Compton waived his right to a ban.

Compton stood in the prisoners box during the hearing and admitted everything that occurred that night.

He said he was ready to face the consequences.

Compton said he has a lawyer in P.E.I. and wants him present before he pleads to the charges.

The duo will be back in court in Moncton May 17th.
 
Milkshake links man to break-ins

A refreshing chocolately drink cost a safe-cracking Kingston thief four years behind bars.

Joseph Watson was nabbed because of meticulous forensic work by investigators, some high-tech sleuthing and his own carelessness.

Watson, 51, who had already amassed more than 60 convictions for break-ins, left damning evidence behind when he broke into a west-end Kingston business.

While on the lam, Watson broke into the office of vending machine supplier Aramark Refreshment Services.

He used a welding torch to cut open a safe but apparently it was hot work.

The sweaty thief grabbed a Rolo drink, a chocolate milkshake in a bottle, before he finished his safe busting labour and fled.

He left the empty Rolo bottle behind, along with empty water bottles that he had used to douse the hot metal as he cut the safe open. Crime scene investigators scooped up the bottles, hoping they would yield a clue to the culprit's identity.

To their delight, Watson's saliva was on the Rolo bottle and that saliva made its way into a national crime scene databank where it was matched to a sample previously collected from Watson, on one of his frequent trips before a judge.

More at link

::)

Don't these people watch CSI?  ;D
 
Article Link

Reproduced with the usual caveats.

Police say a suspect in a Colorado home invasion had the evidence written all over his face.

A tattoo on the upper lip of 20-year-old Anthony Brandon Gonzales led to his arrest last week in the home invasion of an Elvis impersonator in Pueblo County.

A witness told police that one of the invaders had "East Side" tattooed on his upper lip. Gonzales also has a "13" tattooed on his chin in the shape of a goatee. According to an affidavit, the tattoos were visible even though Gonzales was wearing a mask.

Gonzales was already in jail on a separate drug charge. Police have now charged him with the April burglary, too. Sgt. Eric Bravo said his distinctive tattoo led to the charge, saying, "it's hard to miss him."

::)
 
What can you say?

Article link

Teens Alert Trooper To Partially Nude Man
Man Naked From Waist Down, Carrying Vaseline

NEW CASTLE, Ind. -- A man who police said was running through a neighborhood naked from the waist down was arrested early Saturday morning after a group of teens awakened an off-duty Indiana State Police trooper.

Senior Trooper Todd Wallace said the teens came to his home at 12:20 a.m. to alert him to the man, who they said was running up and down a street.

"As Wallace approached and identified himself, the man took off running down the middle of the residential street," said ISP Sgt. John Bowling. "He was naked from the waist down and was carrying a towel and a jar of Vaseline."

The man was arrested shortly after Wallace began chasing him on foot.

New Castle police arrived and arrested Kelly Malkemus, 44, of New Castle, on charges of public indecency and resisting law enforcement, both misdemeanors.

Police aren't sure why the man was wearing only a fleece vest.

"There have been reports recently of a peeping tom in the neighborhood," Wallace said, but police aren't sure if this incident is related.
 
This guy is a genuine idiot. The video embedded with the article has the full story.

Article Link

Police: He shot the wrong house

Updated: Monday, 31 May 2010, 11:13 PM EDT
Published : Monday, 31 May 2010, 11:12 PM EDT

By: Brad Edwards

INDIANAPOLIS (WISH) - Bullets blistered the porch, the sofa and a woman’s leg in Indianapolis as spurned Ex looking for revenge opened fire on two people, but not the people he was gunning for.

Police say the suspect went out looking for his ex-girlfriend’s family; he though he shot his ex’s mother and another person. Then, they say, he called to taunt his Ex. That’s when, police say, he learned he shot the wrong people.
 
Do you think they would do this over again if given the chance? Probably, you can't fix stupid.

Article Link

Police chase ends when car runs out of gas

Updated: Thursday, 10 Jun 2010, 8:44 AM EDT
Published : Thursday, 10 Jun 2010, 8:44 AM EDT

INDIANAPOLIS (WISH) - Indianapolis Metro Police say a police chase ended safely only because the driver trying to get away, ran out of gas.
Just before midnight police say an officer was driving near Keystone Avenue and noticed a man and a woman fighting outside of a car.
When the officer stopped to break up the fight police say the two jumped in the car and took off on I-465.
The car eventually stopped on I-465 near U.S. 31 on the city's south side.
Officers say the car was stolen and that they also found drugs when they arrested the man behind the wheel.
 
Hey, when you steal a car, you don't necessarily get to pick one with a full tank. Although I can't say I've ran into that problem in Grand Theft Auto.... hmmm, I should e-mail Rockstar about this.
 
I work at the police detention center in my city and not much surprises me anymore until this one came in. Charged with attempted murder.He cut off his nabours dogs head and put it in the microwave then went back to his nabours house and tried to kill her. Needless to say they sent him for a 30 day phys Evaluation .
 
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