Just some afterthoughts.
I know I'm afflicted with post-suicide survivor-guilt, hard-wired in me, over a lifetime with it, I can't seem to escape that. I forget to put a check on it, and I fail to recognize that hypervigilance when it overtakes me. It's somewhat masochistic to dislose what I have. I feel a lot better from seeing that the Military is taking the suicide issues, mental health issues seriously and diligently. I'm like a crow, picking at dead things, drawn to it (trauma compulsion).
Pieman, maybe really out of line of me to suggest this (I'm out of line a lot), but I'm wondering if the losses from your barracks, has left some trauma-imprints on you, some 'complicated grief' that is sticking. I tend to avoid facing my 'feelings directly' and displace it as anger, and hypervigilance towards external issues-- I get mad at the "system" a lot
There's a good exercise in Aphrodite Matsaki's book, Trust After Trauma re: survivor guilt, realistic appraising of conditions at the time. It's hard work, that's CBT based, but grief that's been sitting with us for a while, can take hold physioligically, emotionally, etc.
There are some things in life, we're unlikely to just 'get over', those losses can bite back from time to time, even if we think we've 'finished with it'. I think I've left them behind, only to get a dream/nightmare that reminds me I still hurt, feel the loss (I hide my feelings from others and myself often, in everyday-life, numb it by habit). I guess it's a matter of monitoring it, and if it's hiccuping a lot, and if the services of help and support are available-- grab it.
From the CF report, estimates of 1/4 of suicides are not preventable, regardless of availability of help. I feel that my father's suicide was possibly preventable, but we weren't skilled or supported at that time, or prepared by trainign, education, etc.and likewise with the system. There would have been times for earlier intervention ik we had knowledge and support from the system (we were all friend and burntout from over the years, numb, recurrent trauam/crises. Also, barriers, attitude of 'suck it up' or denial, 'it'll get better, this crisis will pass-- but it didn't-- it's human, not exclusive to the military or 'military culture' per se, it's also in the dominant culture: stigma, shame, mad eyour bed, suck it up. The other one, person sought help, knew about resources, but chose differently. That one I don't think was preventable, he didn't hang on to learn, be open that he could learn, and didn't want to face the declinging health, due to terminal illness. He didn't want it to look like a suicide, he loved his family, was very well-loved, that's unfortunately not always enough.
My father took himself out in an alcoholic rage, with the means. It's imprinted on the family, the proximity ot the event, witnessing, direct with the drama of it, etc. We should have called the cops, but also anxiety abou tthe process, what ifs, getting released when not safe for him or us, etc. It was him or us, lots of indications he would have taken us down with him, re: prior threats on us with the means.
Those 'means' figure into some family members suicidal ideation, my brother and I. I'm grateful, split second decision between motel room, drun kand going out to find the means vs. a plane ticket home-- my brother is still alive. Also, later when he went searching for the means, the street peddler was ethical enough over greed to not sell the means. Knowing that access to the means would mean having to deal with unscruppled people, remains a helpful deterent for me. It'd take a lot of energy to do that and I hate those people anyway.
Deterrence, ways of containing risk I guess is as best as can be done.
Okay, going ot walk away from this for a while. I'm glad to learn of CF concientiousness on sucide prevention and responding to mental health issues, emergencies.