Bzzliteyr said:
In regards to the discussion on people not being as friendly as they used to I have this to add:
Yesterday while walking my dog down Sherbrooke street in Montreal, I saw an elderly lady and her daughter getting into their car. The older woman had a tough time getting seated and lifted her legs in one by one. I had my dog on my right side so I walked over to the car to help her with her door.. as I approached, the look on her daughter's eyes said it all. Fear. I smiled and said "you look comfy now, let me get that for you" and as I closed the door for her the daughter nervously smiled.
Since when has being nice led to such ridiculous reactions?
This sort of behavior, a man being so nice, is something I have found to be more common among soldiers and far less common among civvie men, so it doesn't surprise me that you, a solider, did something so nice.
As for the look on the woman's face, her look of "fear". This doesn't surprise me either. I too have, to a degree, a fear of men- I'm not going into details as to why, but I'm very careful.
Usually I need to get to know a man over a period of time before I start to feel comfortable around him and I would never want to find myself alone with a man I didn't know and hadn't spent some time with in a group environment. While I often will be the only girl in an air crew or ground crew, that's a completely different situation; everyone is 'on task' and doing whatever it is they are suppose to be doing.
There are only three men in my life who I have given an instant or almost instant trust to (a woman's radar can work both ways); 2 of them are soldiers (neither of them know it and, I feel, at this time, it's best to keep it that way) and the other is a priest. The other men in my life, they have had to earn my trust over a period of time. That isn't to say as there won't be other men in the future where, upon meeting X man, I feel very comfortable and safe with him for reasons I can't explain and as a result we quickly develop a mutual 'friendship', but generally speaking it takes a while, if for any reason, safety.
If you knew the sorts of risks girls will often face day to day, risks which a man doesn't have to deal with and risks which most men don't even see or register, you might understand a little more about why a girl would be so fearful of a man doing something so nice and even still, being explained these sorts of daily risks isn't the same as having them part of your daily life. Not that the daily nonsense so many woman and girls deal with day to day interferes with my life, like most woman, I just brush it off and keep on motoring, but since a girl or woman never knows when the regular same o' daily nonsense might turn into a situation by where her safety is compromised, we (girls and woman) do need to be a lot more aware.
Remember, that girl didn't know you from Adam, she had no way of knowing that you were not going to hurt them... you were simply doing something nice, but there wasn't any way for her to know that. If a girl or woman isn't sure, they often times, for safety reasons, err on the side of caution and as a result said girl or woman will tend to lean towards feeling the man is a possible threat.
With that said, I know for me, as I have said before, most of the nicest men I have ever met to date, have almost all been soldiers. That isn't to say as there are some soldiers out there who are not nice, I'm certain there are some who need to be thrown back, but fortunately for me, I haven't, so far, met any of those not-so-nice soldiers where my 'fear radar' would be going off into over time.
By the way, I think your 'act of charity' towards this girl and her mother, where you did something so nice, was absolutely wonderful.
Bzzliteyr said:
I am going to smile at as many people as I can today!
This is a wonderful and fine example of what anyone can do to help make the world a better place. Smiles really do spread like wild fire. Bravo for you!