My parents say no

[Khaalid]

After high-school i plan to go to university and study to become a nurse and join the army as an officer. I told my parents my plans, and they said no. I figured when I turn 18, i can do it anyways, without their permission. But it would mean a lot to me if they would allow me to do it. Did anyone else have this problem? what do I do? what do I tell them?

Im going to do it anyways; but it would give me a good piece of mind knowing their with me on my decision.

 

[pretentious]

They will never understand. You have a long journey ahead of you, focus on school!
There is the paid education route, ROTP or CivUprogram, just wait until you're 18 to apply to that and in the mean time exercise, volunteer and work a job while your parents feed and house you

 

[BeyondTheNow]

You'll find you're not alone in this situation, so I hope you feel better once you learn of some of the experiences of others. Below are a couple of relevant threads to help you get started. Good luck, and I hope they come around.  There can be many negative reactions towards a career in the Military, but I feel it's mainly because the individuals don't have a thorough understanding of what one can gain in terms of overall growth, finances, advancement opportunities and the like.

http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/13678.0.html

http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/96141.0.html

 

[Oscar590]

At the end of the day it is YOUR life.

 

[ProtectAndServe]

At the end of the day it is YOUR life.

Yes, just like all the teens made adult at the age of 18 please remember that you'll most likely be living in YOUR parents house.

On the other hand your parents should understand this is something you want to do with your life, they should help you meet your goals instead of saying no.

I recommend bringing information to the table and having a discussion as I did about the opportunity the Forces would bring to your life. Also you can even take them with you to a recruiting centre and have a staff member sit down with you and your parents discussing the pros and cons of joining up.

Good luck.

 

[FJAG]

Why are they saying no?

Your career path is to be a nurse. That's not exactly airborne killer from the sky. Nursing is the same honourable caring profession regardless of whether its in the military or on the civilian side.

I always look to see what it is that motivates the other person before I make a plan for how to negotiate with (or try to persuade) that person.

At the end of the day these folks are your parents and even though its your life, its a little early on for you to burn bridges needlessly. Try to find out what their viewpoints are and why they hold them and then come back for some more advice.

:2c:

 

[X Royal]

I may be wrong but going by the original posters name there could possibly be cultural reasons the parents are against a military career.
At times old beliefs can be slow to change.
Good luck in the future.

 

[Noctis]

Your parents are real *******s if they don't approve of you being a nurse in the military. That's likely one of the most honorable things one can do with their life.
Do what you want to do with your life; you don't need ANYONE'S approval (well, legally only once you hit 18)

Good luck, live strong, live the way you want to live!

 

[Conz]

Maybe this can aid you when you decide to sit down with them and discuss why applying to the Forces as a nurse is important to you:

http://forces.ca/en/parents/home-133

 

[xo31@711ret]

I heard this many times from some comrades; some of my own relatives & friends felt the same when I joined in 82. I started out in the infantry & went medic after 6 years. After a couple years those friends & relatives realized that we are not the 'baby killers' as portrayed in some old hollywood military bashing movie. After explaining what we did-do, those same friends & relatives realize it was the best thing I did - some wished they had joined when I did. After 28 years,  I can honestly say it was the best thing I did was joining in 82. 'Cause gawd only knows where I'd be if I didn't sign that dotted line back in 82...

 

[Bzzliteyr]

One time, twenty years ago.. I joined the regular forces.  My father was NOT impressed as he was a university art teacher and grew up as a military brat.  He hated that I decided to join instead of getting an inexpensive ride (through him) to university.

14 years later, while in Afghanistan my father started his downward spiral in his battle with cancer.  He did not approve that I was overseas (for the third time) and was hoping to repatriate me.  I started my flight back and I truly believe he thought I was coming home for good... and passed away.  Until the last possible minute he tried to protect me.  That's what parents do. 

Let them understand that it is perfectly normal but maybe explain your passions and why you want to join the military.  Be tactful and yes, at 18 you can make your own decisions.  As someone said, do what makes YOU happy..I did, and here I sit 20 years later, proud of what I have done.

 

[Conz]

When I first filed my application for the CF, my girlfriend was not impressed and did not approve (although she knew that was my aspiration all along). It wasn't until she met my uncle, a US Navy Retiree, that my perseverance was put into perspective for her. My uncle asked her, "Is there anything in your life that you've always been passionate about?" She replied with a yes, regarding her passion for art. "Well," he said,"imagine someone taking that one thing away from you and telling you that you can never do it again." It wasn't until that conversation that she began to full support my decision. I hope this helps.

 

[Precept]

My parents were dead against it when I told them my plans too. They said "No". I didn't listen to them, and went about the process of joining on my own. Once they saw I was serious about it and going through with it, they began to come around. They didn't have much choice. I've been in for two years and they are both proud of me.

It's your life. You don't need their permission.

 

[krimynal]

My dad was always against it ( still is ) wants be to join the family company . 

I wanted to join the military , to make something great of my life , have the luxury of waking up every morning , being proud of who I am

Yesterday I was watching Chicago Fire , the dad quote this which I find amazing

"Disappoint anyone , Hell disappoint Everyone , but don't ever disappoint yourself" ....

Always remember that at the end of the day , you will wake up every morning and you will go to sleep everynight , living the life you decided .... so , if the military is what you want , then go ahead and jump on it !!!

 

[Khaalid]

thank you guys for your advice, but I still have a long journey, and a lot of studying to do before i can get in

 

[a_majoor]

While at the end of the day it is your descision, try to do it in such a way that you don't burn your bridges behind you. I applaude your career choice, but the military "family" can only be a substitute and not a replacement for your real family. (If it is a replacement, then my consolation for having to flee from a dysfunctional family).

Have your parents come and talk to the recruiter, or show them the website, or (perhaps best) have a trusted friend who is already in speak to them one on one. Don't do a hard sell, that is only annoying.

Best of luck

 

[Khaalid]

speaking of family, how are you supposed to have one when your in the army? what if you wife has a job in this city, and now you have to move to another city, she'll just keep switching jobs, and the kids will keep switching schools...? can someone explain this to me as well, im confused about this part, thank you

 

[Tank Troll]

speaking of family, how are you supposed to have one when your in the army? what if you wife has a job in this city, and now you have to move to another city, she'll just keep switching jobs, and the kids will keep switching schools...? can someone explain this to me as well, I'm confused about this part, thank you

What is to be confused about? You hit it right on the head " she'll just keep switching jobs, and the kids will keep switching schools"

:dunno:

 

[Pandora114]

Yup,  military wives and kids just suck it up, and switch jobs and the kids just switch schools when we get posted.  It's just part of life.  We deal with it, we make it a huge road trip when we get posted, do the tourist thing...it's fun.  Kids look forward to meeting new friends at new schools, and in this day and age with the internet, kids can *still* keep in contact with their friends with ease, vs when *I* was a base brat and relied on letters and stamps and losing the snail mail addies during moves and whatnot.

 

[Khaalid]

so is it not possible to stay in one place?