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made a bad choice want to go home

noone

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I have finally made it to battalion, in shilo 2vp and at first i was little happy to be done everything but upon being here for a few weeks i realize i really don't want to do this as a long term career because i don't feel interested(weird because most people would bebut figured it would look interested in the stuff we use), I really miss my family back home and wish to go to university to complete a degree. I realize that VRing will not go over very well and is possibly not even going to through for a year, how would a component transfer do in comparison? (i could stay in the reserves while completing my degree, finally be able to visit my family on regular basis and get a more fulfilling (for myself) career that i am more interested. (for everyones information i did think of VRing during training but thought that would make me look weak to my peers, I believed I should prove I could complete the training and at least see what battalion life is like see if it would be more interesting to myself).
 
noone said:
I believed I should prove I could complete the training and at least see what battalion life is like.
How long have you been in Shilo?  Don't you feel you should honor your 3 year commitment?  There are plenty of people on this site that would be glad to take your place.

I seriously doubt they would let you transfer to reserves without completing your contract.

Everyone misses home, their mom, thier significant other... you need to soldier on.  There are always highs and lows.  Welcome to a low.
 
I'm gathering that your rather a bit on the young side so get ready for it.....

Little bit of tough love time....hold on, here we go.

You just got in, first time away from home. Got to your Bn and not finding it to your fancy.

Not a problem. Honor your commitment and complete your contract.

Homesick? You have to grow up and face it sometime, why not now?

If this is anytime to face your fears and getting some confidence this is the time to do it.

Now if you're still wanting on getting out, put in your VR or an OT and get ready to face the consequences.....whatever they may be.

My 0.02 donkey dollars worth.

Regards







Now a mod note: Fill out your profile and use the proper punctuation or no one on this site will take you seriously.

edit...crap.
 
I understand that there are always highs and lows (I became very depressed aroud christmas time but kept on got better and finished the course). I'm currently 18 joined when i was 17 (basic started 2 days after my high school graduation courses were all back to back so no time on pat). I wish to honor my commitment but  I realize that if i stay for the rest of my contract i will kind of be cheating myself and the army as I will not be overly dedicated and will waste time which I could spend estabilishing myself in another career path. As for facing the homesick problem I kind of grew up with a broken family so I don't mind it to much but would like to see my friends, family and significant other more than 20 days a year for the next 3 years. Although I see the point on the component transfer not going through due to my contract obligations, which would mean a lengthy ordeal of VR with the undoubted harassment from the higher ups and peers who will call it weakness thinking I cant do it when I simply feel no reason to do this, but I will wait sometime and think it over.
 
If you don't want to be there go to your section MCPL and tell him.He will assist you on your memorandum to VR.

If you don't want to be there get out.Plain and simple answer.I'm sure if you told someone "I want to release" they will sort you out.
 
Ditto. I certainly had my fair share of experience trying to motivate soldiers that were not quite sure if they wanted to be there. Put in your release and move on to plan B. Good luck.
 
You will regret it if you VR.  Take a look around at some posts (search VR or released).  You'll find posts by members who quit and then regreted in and wanted back in.  Your time in will not be wasted.  If you part ways with the CF after your 3 years, that will look great on your resume.  Would you like to tell your next future employer that you worked hard and served your country for 3 years or would you like to tell him you quit when you lost interest...

After your 3 years, you could have a nice chunk of change saved, enough to help pay for your degree and have your CT to reserves to help support yourself while in school.  Tough it out - it'll be worth it.
 
noone said:
I understand that there are always highs and lows (I became very depressed aroud christmas time but kept on got better and finished the course). I'm currently 18 joined when i was 17 (basic started 2 days after my high school graduation courses were all back to back so no time on pat). I wish to honor my commitment but  I realize that if i stay for the rest of my contract i will kind of be cheating myself and the army as I will not be overly dedicated and will waste time which I could spend estabilishing myself in another career path. As for facing the homesick problem I kind of grew up with a broken family so I don't mind it to much but would like to see my friends, family and significant other more than 20 days a year for the next 3 years. Although I see the point on the component transfer not going through due to my contract obligations, which would mean a lengthy ordeal of VR with the undoubted harassment from the higher ups and peers who will call it weakness thinking I cant do it when I simply feel no reason to do this, but I will wait sometime and think it over.

Who said that you could not further your education while in the CF?  Plenty of University's and College's offer on-line courses.  It will require that you keep on top of all the work, no time off from regular duties; but most units will accommodate you in the writing of your exams.

Stick with it till at lest the 1 year mark, you've been in for what 6 months?  I know I was home sick on BMQ, but I got over it fast, and made a bunch of life long friends in the process.  You WILL make friends, and get over the home sickness, and possably enjoy the military
 
Noone, I'm sorry you miss your friends and you're experiencing a let down in your new posting.  I certainly know what it feels like to be a zillion miles from home, in a brand new environment and feeling as if i was second guessing my choices.   All I can say is allow yourself some time before you make anymore choices and/or decisions about your future.  

At 18, it's hard to understand that the buddies you went to school with aren't seeing your career choice in the same light you are.  It's even harder when you realize that those same friends aren't heading in the same direction as you are and it's even scarier to realize that you are quickly leaving them behind.  It's very disturbing to discover that you've out grown your school pals and right about now, it seems that the easiest way to get back on track with them is to head on back to where they are.  No matter if you stay in Shilo or head back home, your friends are either going to be left behind as you all grow in different directions or  you'll fall back in the same old and in about 6 months of that, wonder what ever possessed you to head on home.  

So, make a deal with yourself.  Give yourself a no decision period for at least a week. Revisit your concerns in a week and then put them on hold for another week.  In the following week, make a new deal with yourself that you will give yourself the choice of quitting.   You will give yourself permission to VR when you've had enough.  I can pretty much guarantee you  that once you've given yourself permission to VR when you want to , you all of a sudden won't want to and you'll go from week to week convincing yourself that things aren't quite bad enough for you to quit.  

Be honest and also assess your friends that you miss.  Have they called you? Written to you? Emailed you? Have they invited you to the big event of the month/season/year? Or have they just casually mentioned it to you after it was all said and done?

When I was 18 and living in the UK and just out of training depot, I thought I missed my friends more than I liked my new career in the Wrens.  I used to kid myself that my school friends missed me as much as I imagined I missed them.  The sad reality was, they had pretty much forgotten about me, and the old adage out of sight, out of mind had kicked in.  I realized all of this on a leave period, and after flying trans-atlantic and crossing the country to get to my little burgh in the YT. Most of my so called friends, weren't around and those who were, barely noticed I had come home.  The people that were more concerned how I was doing were the other Jennies back in the UK, they were the ones who called my folks home to see how the trip was, and made sure to tell me about an upcoming event that I was to try and be back for.  After that leave, I was pretty sure then that the being in the wrens was where I wanted to be.  I stayed for my 3 years and returned home to Canada to join the CF.  

Give a small thought to who it is you've brought your problem to, and who are the ones listening? You're one of us now and even if you think we don't care, we do.  Give yourself time noone.  By giving yourself that time, any decision that you will make will be made with experience behind it.  You know what it's like to be a school chum, now it's time for you to learn what it's like to be a soldier.  Who knows, you may like the soldier way more.



 
It's a very personal decision.If I was in a job I couldnt stand I would get out ASAP.Thats just me.You have one life to do with what you want.Why be miserable?

Everyones gotta have a plan,I got a plan B and C.
 
noone said:
I understand that there are always highs and lows (I became very depressed aroud christmas time but kept on got better and finished the course). I'm currently 18 joined when i was 17 (basic started 2 days after my high school graduation courses were all back to back so no time on pat). I wish to honor my commitment but  I realize that if i stay for the rest of my contract i will kind of be cheating myself and the army as I will not be overly dedicated and will waste time which I could spend estabilishing myself in another career path. As for facing the homesick problem I kind of grew up with a broken family so I don't mind it to much but would like to see my friends, family and significant other more than 20 days a year for the next 3 years. Although I see the point on the component transfer not going through due to my contract obligations, which would mean a lengthy ordeal of VR with the undoubted harassment from the higher ups and peers who will call it weakness thinking I cant do it when I simply feel no reason to do this, but I will wait sometime and think it over.

IMO, time in is NOT time wasted.

What life experience you would bring with you after completing your obligation to the CF would be time well spent. You would learn responsibilities and have a much better work ethic than that of your non CF peers. You take that with you to any university/career path and you would do well.

If you think you are unhappy and not dedicated now...so be it. I feel the same way when I have a 2.5-3 hour training run ahead of me...I mope and make excuses to not go...but about 20-30 minutes in, can't for the life of me think of any other way to spend a Sunday morning. I know its apples and oranges...but my point is, give it time, if, after a year or so, you still feel the same way...re-evaluate then.

my $0.02

CAW
 
niner domestic said:
Give a small thought to who it is you've brought your problem to, and who are the ones listening? You're one of us now and even if you think we don't care, we do.  

n-d +1
 
EX_RCAC_011 said:
It's a very personal decision.If I was in a job I couldnt stand I would get out ASAP.Thats just me.You have one life to do with what you want.Why be miserable?

Everyones gotta have a plan,I got a plan B and C.

He hasn't even given it a chance. I hated the navy for my first year and a bit I remustered but you stick with it, if you start quitting every time something is not to your liking now you will be a quitter your entire life.
 
CdnArtyWife said:
IMO, time in is NOT time wasted.

I' d argue that one......I spent a total of 4 1/2 years at NDHQ and of that time I only actually had a job for one year. Senior officers got really pissed off when I told them I was totally underemployed in a position I could not relate to at all.  "Selection and maintenance of the empire".

EX_RCAC_011 said:
It's a very personal decision.If I was in a job I couldnt stand I would get out ASAP.Thats just me.You have one life to do with what you want.Why be miserable?

Everyones gotta have a plan,I got a plan B and C.

My sentiments exactly. Which is exactly why I took my release after twenty years. I had a great time in but the prospect of sitting another minute twiddling my thumbs trying to look busy was having a negative impact on my life.
 
Lots of good advice here, particularly niner domestic :).

It's sad to say, but after school , people that spend years together
drift apart by life. It's happen a lot after high school, for me it' happens
mostly after a university degree. I lost all those friends with whom
I was so intimate.

niner domestic has give you good advice to evaluate those friendships.
It's a kind of evaluation that is always though on self, because it's the reevaluation
of what you thing is the present, when it fact it's mostly base on a picture from the past,
and it's hurtful. That's part of growing up, of moving into another part of life,which can't be stop.

Give yourself months to growth accustom to your new life, then take a vacation to visit the old one,
and question yourself to see if it is really what you think it is. Which, in my opinion, won't be.

Will it be near enough of what you think it is to quit the CF? You may surprise yourself then...
(well, I hope you will :). and I hope I was clear in my thouth-to-words process )
 
Noone are you afraid of going on tour ?
Have you not made any friends at Shilo ?
Don't you like being out on your own, making good money ?
Arent your parents proud that you are serving your country ?
If you are bored take college courses, maybe the CF has a tuition assistance program ?
 
I am not yet in the army but I am in the middle of my recruiting process. I really think you should stick it out man. Could you deal with being "DISHONOURABLY DISCHARGED." I know that I couldn't. Eventually you will live on your own as a civilian and miss your parents/friends and such. Loneliness is inescapable. I think you should stick it out and prove to yourself that your a man and not only a man, but a man of your WORD. Think it over good before doing anything. Set aside your emotions and I think you will see that the army was and still is a great choice of yours. Just think about how proud your family, friends and you yourself will be after you complete your three years. Just my 2 cents so take them as you will man.

-Norwood
 
Flesh.Injected said:
I am not yet in the army but I am in the middle of my recruiting process. I really think you should stick it out man. Could you deal with being "DISHONOURABLY DISCHARGED."

If he asked for an early release, he would not be "dishonourably discharged"........ ::)

back in your lane
 
I don't know if I'm out of line or not (since I'm still waiting to get in) but at 18, 3yrs is a drop in the bucket when it comes to your entire life. You still have time to go to school after you're out of the military and you still won't be too far behind others that are in university. Plus you'll have these amazing experiences and memories. I'll give you an example:

-I was in army cadets for several years and in the Montreal area, between different corps and regiments, a lot of us were friends. A guy I knew went to the RCR, like you, right out of high school. So meanwhile I go to college for a couple years (Quebec educational system) and started university right after that. Who's in one of my 1st year classes?? This guy. He completed his 3yr commitment and enroled in the same university as me. Because he was 21, he enroled as a mature student which means he only had to complete one extra year of classes before he could graduate.

The point being: This guy goes to the military, saves a bunch of money, does a few 'cool' courses like recce, makes life-long friends, goes back to school and is one or two years behind the rest of us.  You still have time to do A LOT before you need to decide on anything.  It's actually good to take time off after high school to see what interests you before you jump into college or university.
 
noone said:
I really miss my family back home.....

Suck it pal, I only get a chance to go home and visit my family every 3 or 4 years. Imagine that eh. Normally I am over 22,500km from dear ole Saskatchewan, and  I am currently on Ops in the MEAO.

You are an adult, you made a decision, now stand and deliver!

Be a man among men, honour your commitment, and soldier on.

100's of thousands of other Canadians have made it, and so can you.

Wes
 
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