How to get family on board

[George Wallace]

Unfortunately George, and I mean this with the greatest respect, you're probably "out to lunch" on this one.  Their opinion is, unfortunately, not really all that bizarre.  There's a fairly sizable segment of the population out there that has been sheltered, and their only exposure to the CF that they can recall, concerns some not so respectable incidents from the early 90's.

Really?...This is the first time I have heard the comment that one would be gang raped by four gay men.

 

[Maxadia]

Really?...This is the first time I have heard the comment that one would be gang raped by four gay men.

That specific comment might be unusual, but for the most part, there are lots of people out there who think that the military is full of abusive members.  It's unfortunate that they are so ignorant and close minded, but they do exist. 

 

[Journeyman]

Like it would take four....  :




What? Inappropriate?  Oh, sorry; disregard.  ;D

 

[Maxadia]

;D ;D ;D

That made my day. 

 

[curious george]

I am not at all surprised by his parents' comments.  I've heard plenty of my own including a few who did bring up the issue of sexual harrassment, presumably, in light of the recent RCMP allegations.  i'm no authority to say whether the two are the same organization, or whether possible occurrences in one will automatically mean it will happen in the other.  Someone with more knowledge can fill me in.  But certainly I can attest to the fact that rape/sexual harrasment is a common (mis)perception - whether gay, lesbian, or plain old straight.

 

[Jarnhamar]

I am not at all surprised by his parents' comments.  I've heard plenty of my own including a few who did bring up the issue of sexual harrassment, presumably, in light of the recent RCMP allegations.  i'm no authority to say whether the two are the same organization, or whether possible occurrences in one will automatically mean it will happen in the other.  Someone with more knowledge can fill me in.  But certainly I can attest to the fact that rape/sexual harrasment is a common (mis)perception - whether gay, lesbian, or plain old straight.

I'm offended by your insinuation that straight people are old and plain.

I think most of the time this type of question/comment gets brought up here it is because the OP is expecting/counting on a specific response from the members.

 

[George Wallace]

I am not at all surprised by his parents' comments.  I've heard plenty of my own including a few who did bring up the issue of sexual harrassment, presumably, in light of the recent RCMP allegations.  i'm no authority to say whether the two are the same organization, or whether possible occurrences in one will automatically mean it will happen in the other.  Someone with more knowledge can fill me in.  But certainly I can attest to the fact that rape/sexual harrasment is a common (mis)perception - whether gay, lesbian, or plain old straight.

I have heard a lot of this crap before; but it is not confined solely to the CF.  I have heard it about University Residences, Sororities, Colleges, Sports teams, Police Forces, Fire Departments, Social Services, Foster Parents, ......the List is endless. 

Let's stop with this BULL right now.  If your parents or friends are saying CRAP like this, it may be time to ask them to educate themselves.  If they are so closed minded to not do so, then their opinions are then worthless.

 

[dcs]

Agree with George W.......... if you can get to RMC  (with them if possible).  If not talk to some of the current cadets and arrange for a tour.    As I stated earlier... have no concerns in regards to two children being there, and their treatment, training and personal growth/achievement in doing so.

 

[curious george]

I have heard a lot of this crap before; but it is not confined solely to the CF.  I have heard it about University Residences, Sororities, Colleges, Sports teams, Police Forces, Fire Departments, Social Services, Foster Parents, ......the List is endless. 

Let's stop with this BULL right now.  If your parents or friends are saying CRAP like this, it may be time to ask them to educate themselves.  If they are so closed minded to not do so, then their opinions are then worthless.

Well, that's exactly it.  In one ear, out the other. However, I'm saying there are Canadians out there educating themselves with news reports (and maybe personal biases), and getting skewed or incomplete ideas about the CF. Hence, all the bull. It may be time for MANY Canadians to educate themselves, but I don't think they have the capacity if news reports are all they have to go by.  It's one thing to deal with personal comments (in one ear, out the other), but there is a systemic problem here.  The systemic problem becomes personal when prospective applicants try to get parents on board.  However, Im taking this thread in a different direction altogether, and there are other threads that address this.

I speak often of this not because I expect a certain response, but because I'm obviously very passionate about this.  I feel this would be one of my causes, but until I have lived the life, I have no credibility to educate family and friends, let alone the public.  I do think it is something worth putting time and energy into, though, for many reasons.  Getting the public behind you is not a bad thing at all.  And passion can be a great motivator to get things done in life.


ObedientiaZ - Thanks for pointing that out.  No offense was intended. Apologies. 

 

[Jarnhamar]

ObedientiaZ - Thanks for pointing that out.  No offense was intended. Apologies.

Don't worry, I'm only offended because I'm getting old and I'm rather plain 

 

[curious george]

Don't worry, I'm only offended because I'm getting old and I'm rather plain 

lol. (Laughing with you, not at you).

 

[lzrlightshow]

alright, thanks allot guys.
this was extremely helpful and I am going to bring them parents of mine to the recruiting center.
I wish i could go visit RMC but i cant since i'm all the way in Alberta, but i'l keep doing research and hopefully i can
change their bias and truly unpatriotic views.

 

[dimsum]

alright, thanks allot guys.
this was extremely helpful and I am going to bring them parents of mine to the recruiting center.
I wish i could go visit RMC but i cant since i'm all the way in Alberta, but i'l keep doing research and hopefully i can
change their bias and truly unpatriotic views.

If you're in AB and anywhere near Edmonton or Calgary, there are all sorts of military units you can go to and talk to people about it.  The Recruiting Centres are great, but it'd be even better if you could talk to actual Engineering Officers from 1 CER in Edmonton or the reserve units in Calgary.

 

[dcs]

As mentioned go to a recruiting centre and talk to them. You might want to have your parents go the second time after you have had a discussion with them.  As I mentioned in my earlier post I have two sons at RMC and could not be more pleased or proud.  Went to see them yesterday (Drove from Toronto to Kingston return) just to see them and take them out for lunch.  One is in first year engineering and speaks highly of the experience to say the least.

If you can as well talk to someone at the Edmonton location and if possible go and talk to some individuals there. I have listed below the areas and many are of areas that you are looking into ..... mechanized, engineer etc. Hopefully then you and your parents will be able truly see the functioning and type of individuals in the Canadian Forces.

My boys are right now into mid-terms, but I am sure afterwards would be pleased to exchange a few e-mails or questions with you.  If you want to send me a message I can forward to them.    Good luck and really hoping that you can change them. Surprised that there are individuals out there who really believe this kind of thing... must be from US movies or something???

CFB/Garrison Edmonton
There were 4,501 regular military, 603 reserve Class A, B and C forces, and 509 civilian workers at CFB/Garrison Edmonton at the end of December 2005.

Present Functions

The primary function of CFB/Garrison Edmonton is to

field a general purpose combat-effective mechanized brigade group, or any portion thereof, ready for deployment to a min-intensity battlefield in accordance with assigned tasks.
Operational & Support Units

Land Force Western Area HQ,
ASU Edmonton,
ASU Calgary,
ASU Chilliwack,
1 Service Battalion,
742 Signal Squadron,
CF Service Prison and Detention Barracks,
15 MP Company,
1 Garrison MP Company,
1 Canadian Mechanized Brigade Group HQ,
HQ and Signal Squadron,
1st Battalion Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry,
3rd Battalion Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry,
Lord Strathcona's Horse (Royal Canadians),
1 Combat Engineer Regiment,
1 Field Ambulance,
39 CBG HQ,
5 Royal Canadian Artillery,
15 Field Artillery RCA,
6 Field Engineer Squadron,
44 Field Engineer Squadron,
12 Service Battalion,
12 Field Ambulance,
41 CBG HQ,
20 Field Regiment,
15 Service Battalion,
14 Service Battalion,
8 Field Engineer Regiment,
15 Medical Company,
CFAD Dundurn Detachment Edmonton,
1 Dental Unit Detachment Edmonton,
7 Canadian Forces Supply Depot,
408 Tactical Helicopter Squadron,
74 Communication Group Headquarters,
Health Services Group,
7 Aerospace Control Squadron,
745 Communication Squadron.

 

[mustanglx88]

Hello to you All,
                            First of all my name is Eric, 31 years old, married and have two wonderful childrens one of 2 and the other 5. I've been working as a parts manager for a dealership here in Quebec for 12 years now and I'm unhappy doing this job. I'm fed up of all the back stabbing among colleagues and all the complaning of the clients. I've been debating for sometime now to leave my job and to join the Canadian Military as a Vehicle Mecanic. But I have a few questions concerning this, because it's a big decision, it involves us moving  2 hours away from our families to Valcartier. My wife needs to find a new job also.So here we go, first question.
1. How do you deal, leaving your family behind?
2. How do you tell your parents and parents-in-laws that you are leaving your job to join the military?
3. What do you tell your young children when you leave for trainning in Saint-Jean-sur-Richelieu for 13 weeks?
4. How's the life in the military?
I just want what's best for me and especially for my family.

Thank you for answering sincerely to my topic.

 

[392]

...But I have a few questions concerning this, because it's a big decision, it involves us moving  2 hours away from our families to Valcartier.

Not to sound too nitpicky, but assuming you'll end up in Valcartier is a pretty big assumption - especially considering you could end up way farther than 2 hours away, like say in Victoria, BC or Halifax, NS.  There are no guarantees that even with enrolling in PQ, you'll end up there in a first posting.

My wife needs to find a new job also.

This is a recurring requirement every time you will be posted - and is something I would encourage you to take the time to discuss with her and ensure she is on board with.

One final thing, you mentioned being away for 13 weeks in St Jean - are you aware that you will then head off to CFSEME in Borden, Ont for your basic trades training? I don't know off-hand how long a Veh Tech QL3 is, but I am betting it is measured in months. If you are not course loaded right away, you could expect to be in Borden for a very long time waiting to begin your training without being authorized to move your family. Not trying to throw a wrench in your plans, just adding some info that from your original post, you may not have been aware of.  :2c:

Good luck whichever way you go.

 

[TPJR]

My son is in Borden right now for Vehicle Tech and he will probably be there over a year once all his training is complete.

 

[MattBar]

They would probably be much more open to you joining the reserves if they knew more about the CF in general, and what it means to be a reservist. Make sure they know that it is highly unlikely that you will be forced to go to war, and that deployments are optional. Good luck.

 

[maestro67]

Hi there,

I did not want to make a new thread and the search brought me to this thread..

So what are the chances of finding a girlfriend/wife within the forces? I've read the official doc on fraternization, it appears it's okay so long you're both completely removed from each other + in the Chain of command in a professional context. That's the catch though isn't it? Basically you can date someone within the forces so long as you two have nothing to do with each other (So how do you meet them in the first place?)

Onto socializing/social aspects of "Life in the CF"-
Could someone elaborate on the social settings of the forces? I mean I know the team sports is a huge part and it seems you'll interact with a wide range of people while deployed/at different bases. Is it allowed for commanding officers to say, go out for drinks with some guys (lower ranks) etc? If you are at a base in Canada, is it normal to become friends with your "co-workers", or is this frowned upon/dependent on your ranks/etc (I realize you don't normally become friends with your boss at work, likewise in the CF. But what about "equals", aka actual co-workers)?

Thanks.

 

[Kat Stevens]

I made friends on my TQ 3, errr, QL 3 or whatever it is now, 33 years ago and haven't seen them since.  If they picked up the phone and needed me, I'd be there.  Yes, equals can be friends, more than friends, brothers, or bitter enemies, just like in the real world.