How to get family on board

[PMedMoe]

Just don't forget that being in the CF isn't like some other jobs where you can quit when you want or just not show up.  In my experience, it's like doing circuit training for PT, you get out of it what you put into it.

 

[mariomike]

Just like the good old song says, "There's no life like it!"

 

[bigwood]

Just like the good old song says, "There's no life like it!"

this i can understand.

As i think about it more and more there are more do's and dont's about why i should join. but its the donts that are keeping me from joining or going to talk to a recruiter atleast. The way i see it, your working 24 hours a day(other then sleep) and your always at the same place for long periods of time with little freedoms (as far as i know...) I have seadoo's and atvs i like to ride on the weekends, i would pretty much have to sell them if i joined, no point in paying insurance while they just sit. ( i know this information is probably innacurate but it is what i have gained from reading some things)

On the other hand i like the idea of the discipline and be honor'd to be able to say im part of the CF. If my life went to absoulte crap and i got kicked out of my house and fired i would probably try to join that day(over exaduration) I think im just going to let the idea sit for a while, atleast until my term is done at school.

 

[Kat Stevens]

Good to know the CF is your employer of last resort.  I'm sure a recruiting van will be along shortly to scoop you up.

 

[George Wallace]

this i can understand.

As i think about it more and more there are more do's and dont's about why i should join. but its the donts that are keeping me from joining or going to talk to a recruiter atleast. The way i see it, your working 24 hours a day(other then sleep) and your always at the same place for long periods of time with little freedoms (as far as i know...) I have seadoo's and atvs i like to ride on the weekends, i would pretty much have to sell them if i joined, no point in paying insurance while they just sit.

On the other hand i like the idea of the discipline and being able to say im part of the CF. If my life went to absoulte shit and i got kicked out of my house and fired i would probably try to join that day. I think im just going to let the idea sit for a while, atleast until my term is done at school.

I really don't know how much 'serious' research you have done, as it appears you have done absolutely none after reading this.  "Why?" you may ask.  It is because this post of yours is right out to lunch (ROTFL).


Oh!  If you got kicked out of your house tomorrow, you'd become a 'Homeless Street person' for a couple of months (minimum) as you Enrolment process into the CF is not the simple tapping on your head with a magic wand; it takes quite a bit of time.  Perhaps you should read some of the posts on how long it takes.

 

[aesop081]

and being able to say im part of the CF.

:

 

[Antoine]

Friendly advice:

I am suspecting that in this forum there is many people that could easily find a good job in the civil life but they want to contribute to our country and the CF, they are ready to sacrifice a lot and not because it is their last resort choice !

So it looks like you might got a "what not to do" but I am not a Mod of this forum neither a CF member for now, so it is only my  :2c: suggestion.

P.S.: The CFRC are going to answer your questions without biting you, neither they will force you to join !

 

[hotei]

this i can understand.

As i think about it more and more there are more do's and dont's about why i should join. but its the donts that are keeping me from joining or going to talk to a recruiter atleast.

These are the words of a quitter -- nay, since a quitter must, by its very definition start. These are the words of someone who was never terribly serious in the first place. I know this because as I have said before, I hemmed and hawed over joining as well, but that didn't stop me from talking to a recruiter.

The way i see it, your working 24 hours a day(other then sleep) and your always at the same place for long periods of time with little freedoms (as far as i know...)

Ummm... so all those folks that I see driving in their CADPAT fatigues going to and from work daily (NDHQ) must have no lives of their own. Seriously, what in sweet heaven are you talking about? That's right, an excuse is an excuse, it doesn't need to make sense.

I have seadoo's and atvs i like to ride on the weekends, i would pretty much have to sell them if i joined, no point in paying insurance while they just sit. ( i know this information is probably innacurate but it is what i have gained from reading some things)

Perhaps I am the one who is out to lunch here, but why not simply cancel the insurance on them and store them. They are not fruit. They will not go bad. Or, sell them. However, if you are so attached to your life that you will not accept changing it (even in such a mild way) I do not think an institution which will move you around as frequently as the military does, is for you.

On the other hand i like the idea of the discipline and be honor'd to be able to say im part of the CF. If my life went to absoulte crap and i got kicked out of my house and fired i would probably try to join that day(over exaduration) I think im just going to let the idea sit for a while, atleast until my term is done at school.

I think we can narrow this down quite nicely here. You like the "thought" of being in the military. You don't necessarily want to commit to that thought though. You haven't spoken with your parents (warning sign #1), you haven't bothered to speak with a recruiter (number two), or even one of the online recruiters (big ol' number 3). And to top it off, you admit quite blatantly that it is a last resort that you would only consider if you were kicked out of your house and fired. This pretty much tells the world that you are not serious in your pursuit of this matter.

Perhaps worst of all however is your crass and immature manner that you have presented yourself on here. You came here (I believe) sincerely looking for knowledge. You were given frank suggestions and opinions on the matter. You then turn and spit on the people who help you by somehow implying that their career choice is one of desperation and nothing more. Only once their lives had sunk to the deepest pits of desperation and despair would they consider joining an institution such as the Canadian military: one that you said you'd be honor'd [sic] to say you belonged to.

I'm sorry, but with an attitude like that, I think you will find yourself stepping on a lot of toes all your life.

 

[bdave]

And by that i mean career wise...(i have done some research but just want opinions) I am not in the army, but i am considering it. Currently im a grade 12 grad in college to become an automotive technician (mechanic) but to be honest im not enjoying it as much as i thought i would have. Its an apprenticeship course and with the economy the way it is i cant find a good job. Im stuck at Jiffy lube chaning oil on cars. I should be doing regular mechanic work but who wants to hire an 18 year old unexperienced kid...I was on the forces website and saw that the military does to apprenticeships and its not nearly as long as the one im doing right now. My dad owns his own company called global defense incorporated and builds components for the military and its vehicles so i have always been interested in the military. Im not sure how my parents would handle me wanting to join the force. Physically im in decent shape (strength is not an issue, stamina might be). I am a powerlifting, I compete nationally and i hold a record for ontario. (powerlifting for anyone who doesnt know is a type of weight lifting, the 3 main lifts are squat, benchpress and deadlift. the 3 most compound movements) i went for a run the other day just to see what i could do and it was disappointing. The weather didn't help either but i know that shouldnt matter either. i ran the 2.4 km in around 15 mins which i could easily bring down to under 12 in about a month.

anyways sorry about the long story. really all i would like to know is if the force is a good career choice...

Nice, what are your numbers? Are you raw? You could always do something in the army related to auto mechanic. It's probably a good career choice because you will acquire experience and you might find something you might enjoy. You only live once.

 

[SixPie]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum.
I live in Quebec and I will be starting my last year of high school in September, so naturally I looked into CEGEPS and 6th year programs for when I graduate.
I've always wanted to go into the army (as Combat Engineer, Infantry or Armoured), but at the same time I also wanted to get a bachelor's in engineering because I enjoy math, physics and science.
That being said, I spent a lot of time on CEGEP websites, forces.ca, and others contemplating my options. I fell upon RMC and their ROTP program. It was perfect for me, I could get the degree I wanted while getting some training and at the end of it all, pursue the military career I wanted as an officer.
The only problem are my parents, since they have to give parental consent. I have no idea how to break the news to them. They are both the parents that expect their really smart son to get into medical school right after CEGEP and end up making 250+ thousand a year. I don't think the idea of their son fighting in the army right after school is what they ever dreamed of.
I'm exasperated with this problem, I have to sit down with them before christmas because, I think, applications need to be made like all other CEGEPs, before march/february. And then I have to probably, since I'm not 100% sure how it works, go to the recruiting office with them and etc...etc...

So, I'm basically trying to find help on how I can actually talk to them and ease them into the idea. Things to say and other suggestions are welcomed. At the very least I want them to be proud of me and support me in my choice, even if they don't really agree with it entirely.

 

[3rdroyal]

Hey here's an idea. Just tell them.

My family freaked out when i said I wanted to join. They even tried to bribe me with a car. After many weeks of arguing and many lectures about "My son/grandson is better than that!", they did in the end see that it was MY choice. Just like it's YOUR choice. To this day, my grandparents think I'm just doing a short stint, and then going to university. They still haven't accepted my decision!

At the end of the day, if you are serious about joining, there will be a time when you don't need their consent.

 

[ScotiaShooter]

Hey here's an idea. Just tell them.

My family freaked out when i said I wanted to join. They even tried to bribe me with a car. After many weeks of arguing and many lectures about "My son/grandson is better than that!", they did in the end see that it was MY choice. Just like it's YOUR choice. To this day, my grandparents think I'm just doing a short stint, and then going to university. They still haven't accepted my decision!

At the end of the day, if you are serious about joining, there will be a time when you don't need their consent.

I agree with Royal. Give it to them straight it is your life after all and they can disagree and protest all they want but at the end of the day it is still your decision.

Although I think I got off pretty lucky as my mother grew up the daughter of a medic so she was rather happy with my decision.

 

[Rinker]

Yea my parents were none too happy even though they had 8 years or so to get used to the idea. Back then they just thought I was going through a phase. And the fact that I was pretty much straight A's without doing my Hw or studying they were expecting me to do something "hard/great". But you know they are family and they got used to the idea especially since I am only home for a few more weeks. Gramps never got used to the idea. But I didn't sign up to make them proud or happy. I did it for myself because that was what I wanted too do. And yes they signed my papers at age 17.

 

[Another Mom]

Sometimes parents are dismayed by their grown child's decision to join the  Forces not because of the danger  or "control issues" but for other reasons. We were against the idea because our son wanted a life of  adventure, danger, responsibility and physical  and mental challenge in an atmosphere of collaborative teamwork and we thought the reality would be something else. It was not so much we did not agree with what he wanted, but that we thought it would not turn out to be what HE wanted. We will support him to the ends of the earth, but we want him to be happy.

 

[1feral1]

There will always be the left winged mums and dads out there not wanting their offspring to sign on regardless, but IMHO now there is a shooting war and the cream of our crop of the youth of Canada are dying, this brings out the others for many reasons, which I respect.

If I had a son or daughter who wanted to get in, I would fully support their decision, not only CF/ADF wise, but if they wanted to do any occupation they so desired.

Its free country, but if one really wants to get in, you don't need consent after 18. It would be nice to have support, and to have proud patriotic parents and family.

At the end of the day, your life, and your choice to sign on, right or wrong, family and friends should be supportive.

Respect is a two way street.

OWDU

 

[mainerjohnthomas]

I remember telling dad.  I was worried as he had always sworn that no son of his would join (tad bitter about UN Service in the Congo).  He'd lined up a union job with me in construction, and as I sat around the table with him, the foreman and the job super playing a game of four handed crib, I broke the news that I couldn't start work Monday, I was reporting to Basic instead.  Delivered calmly, everyone (except dad) at the table was pounding me on the back in congratulations, and by the time my Basic graduated, my father and grandfather were both in the stands to watch our parade.

How they take the news, and how they take your choices are two different things.  The news shatters their plans for you, and raises some legitimate fears.  You are an adult now, and your challenges are your own to chose.  Present it to them as the rational choice of a proud and confident adult, and in time that is how they will see it (in time).  Present it as an adolescent rebellion, and that is how they will treat it.

In the end if they cannot respect your choices, you had no chance of being respected as an adult anyway; you just found that out in a hurry.  If they can respect you, they will see your choices, and what you have become from following them.  To respect you, is to respect the choices that forged you.  It will come, if they care about you.

 

[Bianca]

Present it to them as the rational choice of a proud and confident adult, and in time that is how they will see it (in time).  Present it as an adolescent rebellion, and that is how they will treat it.

In the end if they cannot respect your choices, you had no chance of being respected as an adult anyway; you just found that out in a hurry.  If they can respect you, they will see your choices, and what you have become from following them.  To respect you, is to respect the choices that forged you.  It will come, if they care about you.

Sorry to bump an old thread, but I just wanted to say thank you- this helped me a lot. I am planning on telling my father next weekend and I have no idea how he will react. I feel like it would be easier if he would get upset, cause then I could just debate it with him- but I feel like I will just get a silent look of disappointment. I guess I'll have to bite the bullet and find out!

And a big thanks to all of you, the posts here are a big help and a great resource. I went into the CFRC last week to pick up the Fitness Guide and the recruiter told me I was the first person to EVER pick one up before signing up- and I told him it was because of all of you! I'm going to be as prepared as I can. So again, thank you all.

 

[TcDohl]

Just found this thread. When I told my family that I was merely interested in going into the Navy, my older sister went into an irrational mode, and throwing everything she can muster in order to keep me from joining. Among some of those are:

• THEY'LL SEND YOU TO THE FRONT LINES!
• YOU'LL BE BRAINWASHED!
• YOU WON'T COME BACK THE SAME!

Then I told her I wanted to go into the Navy as an engineer. Then she went on another offensive:

• YOU MIGHT BE POSTED IN A SUBMARINE! YOU'LL BE STUCK WITH A BUNCH OF SMELLY MEN!
• THERE ARE ONLY MEN IN THE MILITARY! YOU'LL NEVER FIND ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND OR MAKE A FAMILY!

Now, the last bit there is the only thing that kinda freaked me out. Being in engineering school, I have been among too many guys, and really haven't had much opportunity to associate too much with the fairer sex (and any other engineer stereotypes may apply). It only freaked me out until I realized that being a civilian engineer isn't really any better for that either. Now it only bugs me a little bit. But nonetheless, I'd like to take this opportunity to ask about this point. How difficult is it to find someone in the context of a long-term pair bonding relationship?

Nonetheless I'm glad that my parents, especially my mom is supportive of me. I wish that my sister would see it the same way as I do (even though either way I will go into the Forces). But at this point, I'm not taking my sister's opinions seriously as they are ignorant and therefore I am ignoring them.

 

[Michael OLeary]

1.  Your sister doesn't know what she's talking about.
2.  My mother and my sister each married two Canadian sailors, and of the four, three were submariners.
3.  Your sister needs to stop trying to run your life and find one of her own.

 

[TcDohl]

1.  Your sister doesn't know what she's talking about.

Agreed. The reason why I don't take her seriously with this issue. It's quite funny that she herself was considering going into the Air Force 10 years ago, but couldn't become a pilot because of her vision.

2.  My mother and my sister each married two Canadian sailors, and of the four, three were submariners.

Yeah, that's good and all, but are any of the engineers? There are certain stereotypes about the kind of guy (yes, that is a deliberate choice of words) that the profession attracts, and I unfortunately fit a good amount of those stereotypes when it comes to social skills.

3.  Your sister needs to stop trying to run your life and find one of her own.

It's funny. She's a successful person. Thankfully she doesn't live in Canada at the moment. Her heart's in the right place, but unfortunately, I think this is one way that she expresses how she doesn't respect me as an adult.