Hi there, I'm new here.... and just hoping to get some opinions on my very confusing and painful situation. My boyfriend is in the army and has been in the Middle East for the past few months. We are both in our early 30s, and haven't been together that long but we're very close. We're planning on living together when he returns in a couple of months, and the last time we spoke on MSN (with webcams which was soooooo nice) about 6 weeks ago everything seemed fine, as we were still missing each other very much...
But then to my utter horror and complete shock, I recently received an email from him saying that I'd be better off without him, that he can't give me what I deserve and that I need someone who can be there for me. I know he hasn't met anyone else out there, he's just not that kind of person. I emailed him back and asked him if he's just lost interest in me but he replied no, he still loves me and that I mean the world to him and always will, but that he doesn't think that's enough anymore and that I deserve more. I am absolutely devastated, and because I can't just pick up the phone and call him, I can't get any more details out of him so I don't know what to think.
Is this sort of thing common with soldiers who are overseas??? I believe him when he says he still loves me, and I know he would never cheat on me, so this just doesn't make sense to me. I can't emphasize enough how well things were going with us before I received that last email. So I just can't understand what is going through his head now. I guess I could try to accept that he really is just thinking about my needs and sacrificing his own for my sake, but I'm having a hard time believing that and think there must be something else going on.
I almost wish I could talk to his friends out there to get the real story. Has anyone here ever heard of this sort of thing? Is it common for soldiers who are away from home to feel hopeless about their long-distance relationships and to just dump their girlfriends before they can be dumped themselves? Is there a high rate of depression among soldiers who are away on long tours?
I feel like an idiot asking complete strangers on the internet for their opinions on this but I honestly don't have anyone else to talk to about this because I don't know anyone else in the army. I thought I was being the ideal, supportive army girlfriend and then I get this bomb dropped on me and I just can't make any sense of it. Your opinions would be greatly appreciated!
Jen
But then to my utter horror and complete shock, I recently received an email from him saying that I'd be better off without him, that he can't give me what I deserve and that I need someone who can be there for me. I know he hasn't met anyone else out there, he's just not that kind of person. I emailed him back and asked him if he's just lost interest in me but he replied no, he still loves me and that I mean the world to him and always will, but that he doesn't think that's enough anymore and that I deserve more. I am absolutely devastated, and because I can't just pick up the phone and call him, I can't get any more details out of him so I don't know what to think.
Is this sort of thing common with soldiers who are overseas??? I believe him when he says he still loves me, and I know he would never cheat on me, so this just doesn't make sense to me. I can't emphasize enough how well things were going with us before I received that last email. So I just can't understand what is going through his head now. I guess I could try to accept that he really is just thinking about my needs and sacrificing his own for my sake, but I'm having a hard time believing that and think there must be something else going on.
I almost wish I could talk to his friends out there to get the real story. Has anyone here ever heard of this sort of thing? Is it common for soldiers who are away from home to feel hopeless about their long-distance relationships and to just dump their girlfriends before they can be dumped themselves? Is there a high rate of depression among soldiers who are away on long tours?
I feel like an idiot asking complete strangers on the internet for their opinions on this but I honestly don't have anyone else to talk to about this because I don't know anyone else in the army. I thought I was being the ideal, supportive army girlfriend and then I get this bomb dropped on me and I just can't make any sense of it. Your opinions would be greatly appreciated!
Jen