Did you ever stop and wonder?

[Spr.Earl]

Did you ever stop and wonder?

Who the first person was to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say,  "See that chicken there ... I'm going to eat the next thing that comes out of its ass."   (actually what are we supposed to eat out of a chicken's ass?   Am I missing something?)

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their butt when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed if he is going to look RIGHT up there anyway?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on . . . . .. . . .

Who was the first person was to decide to pick a Brussels sprout (which looks odd), boil it (which smells even worse than it looks) andthen (the best of all) to put it in his mouth and eat the stinky thing?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets pissed Off with you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

 

[nbk]

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there ... I'm going to eat the next thing that comes out of its ***."  (actually what are we supposed to eat out of a chicken's ***?  Am I missing something?)

I think they mean an egg...although it doesnt come from the chicken's ass.

 

[Jeff Boomhouwer]

oldy but.. If 7-11 is always open why are there locks on the doors?
You drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?
If people from Poland are called Poles ,why are people from Holland called Dutch and not holes?

 

[Lexi]

Heh, that was amusing to read, specially in French computers class.

It's the little things in life, folks, the little things.. ;D

 

[NMPeters]

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

If it is zero degrees outside today, and it is supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why do you press harder on the remote control when you know that the battery is dead?

Why are they called buildings when they already finished? Shouldn't they be called "builts"?

Why are they called apartments, when they are all stuck together?

Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my disk?

The light went out, but where to?

Why do banks charge you an "insufficient funds" fee on money they already know that you don't have?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

Why is a carrot more orange then an orange?

When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near-miss?

Do fish get cramps after eating?

Why are there 5 syllables in "monosyllabic"?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outside?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

Why is it, when a door is open it is ajar, but when a jar is open it is not a door?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," what is the opposite of "progress"?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do Roman paramedics refer to "IV's" as "4's"?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Should you trust a stockbroker who is married to a travel agent?

Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?

Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said that if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking?

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

War doesn't determine who is right, just who is left.

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

How do I set my laser printer on stun?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Is a castrated pig disgruntled?

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

What happens when none of your bees wax?

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the same stuff?

If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Atheism is a nonprophet organization.

 

[stukirkpatrick]

Why do sick people have to go to the back of a pharmacy to get prescriptions and healthy people can buy cigarettes from the front?

Why is something transported by land called a shipment, and something sent by water called cargo?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

How can there be self-help "groups"?

 

[Lexi]

Why do people bother asking questions when it's obvious they can't be answered?  ;D 

 

[Ranger]

If 7-11 is always open why are there locks on the doors?

Because they lock the door when they're counting cash or something like that.

lol all of those are so old but so funny.

 

[Scratch_043]

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
    ~so wrong, so funny

Man, good stuff, I was tempted to answer alot of them.

 

[Scratch_043]

I'll bet that if you try, you can come up with answers for all of them. Even if they are a bit smartass-ish. ;D