Boyfriend joining the military, what should I expect?
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George Wallace
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RomanE said:
What utter BS. Distance has nothing to do with it. 'Communication' is the key. Be it verbal or written communication, good communication between people overcomes distance.
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RomanE said:
You're talking out of your arse. In the almost four years since I met my wife I have been away just over half of the time, and we are quite happy with this and used to it.
Sounds like passion might be a personal problem for you.
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Scott said:
I agree with this analysis. The exact same thing can be be said about my girlfriend and I (2 years). Obviously we'd love to be together but our love and passion is still there and burning hot.
Ding ding ding! Very well said George.George Wallace said:
I have a similar question, and figured I would add to this thread. My BF is likely joining the air force as a pilot and I've been trying to learn as much as possible about the whole process, both about the training portion and afterwards.
Here is what I understand so far: the training will likely be 2+ years and happen in various locations, mostly in the prairies. Then, depending on the aircraft he is trained to fly, he'll be posted to a particular base, and the VIE for pilots is 7 years.
It seems like there is a fair bit of uncertainty with regards to where we will be living and for how long, and there's nothing I can change about that. What I really want to know is how challenging it will be for me to maintain a stable career. This is a difficult question, I know, but I'd like to hear about other people's experiences and those of their non-military spouses. It is probably very dependent on where we end up living but I would like to hear about any successful (or not so successful) scenarios.
I've spent quite a few years getting my post-secondary education and have just recently started working. It is important to me to be able to continue working towards building a successful career. One of the biggest questions I have is what options there will be for him once the mandatory service is complete. If he decides not to continue as a pilot with the forces, will it be easy for him to transition into a commercial pilot position? I'm worried about potentially sacrificing my career options now, since that might make us more dependent on his income, and less likely to be able to transition into something outside of the military (if we even want to do that several years from now).
I really don't know much about the lifestyle or how much either of us would enjoy it, and my views will likely change over time, but I would love to hear from others who are, or have been in my position. Thanks!
Here is what I understand so far: the training will likely be 2+ years and happen in various locations, mostly in the prairies. Then, depending on the aircraft he is trained to fly, he'll be posted to a particular base, and the VIE for pilots is 7 years.
It seems like there is a fair bit of uncertainty with regards to where we will be living and for how long, and there's nothing I can change about that. What I really want to know is how challenging it will be for me to maintain a stable career. This is a difficult question, I know, but I'd like to hear about other people's experiences and those of their non-military spouses. It is probably very dependent on where we end up living but I would like to hear about any successful (or not so successful) scenarios.
I've spent quite a few years getting my post-secondary education and have just recently started working. It is important to me to be able to continue working towards building a successful career. One of the biggest questions I have is what options there will be for him once the mandatory service is complete. If he decides not to continue as a pilot with the forces, will it be easy for him to transition into a commercial pilot position? I'm worried about potentially sacrificing my career options now, since that might make us more dependent on his income, and less likely to be able to transition into something outside of the military (if we even want to do that several years from now).
I really don't know much about the lifestyle or how much either of us would enjoy it, and my views will likely change over time, but I would love to hear from others who are, or have been in my position. Thanks!
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Put simply, it is very difficult to have a "two career" family, when one person is in the CF, subject to constant relocations every 3-7 years, coupled with periods of extended absences from time to time. But then again, it all depends on your definition of "career". Is a traditional career possible? It is, but very rare and can depend on your chosen career path. My wife spent 4 years obtaining her post-secondary degree (BBA Hons - Economics) and had just started working in that field towards her goals when we first met. 3 years later we were married and then suddenly along came a posting. Panic set in for her as it was her first go round in the relocation process. She quit her job and found another one within a year of us being relocated. Another couple of postings later, a few more jobs under her belt and she absolutely floored me one day.....my jaw hit the floor when two years into one of our postings out of the blue she asks "When will we be moving again?" Not sure where this question was going I just asked her "Why would you ask a question like that? Are you not happy here?"
Her response......."Oh no, I like this place and my new job. I just want to think about where I would like to move to next, so that if they ever ask you at work, you'll know." She's a keeper, not giving this one back!
Over the past 20 or so years, she has had 5 different full-time jobs and another 4 short term contract positions and no two jobs have ever been the same for her. As a matter of fact, she will be transitioning into full-time job # 6 in a couple of weeks and it's not as a result of a posting. Military spouses are a unique group to say the least. They are some of the most talented, adaptable, adventurous and experienced people you will ever meet.
If you're up for the challenge, you might become one of them.........
Her response......."Oh no, I like this place and my new job. I just want to think about where I would like to move to next, so that if they ever ask you at work, you'll know." She's a keeper, not giving this one back!
Over the past 20 or so years, she has had 5 different full-time jobs and another 4 short term contract positions and no two jobs have ever been the same for her. As a matter of fact, she will be transitioning into full-time job # 6 in a couple of weeks and it's not as a result of a posting. Military spouses are a unique group to say the least. They are some of the most talented, adaptable, adventurous and experienced people you will ever meet.
If you're up for the challenge, you might become one of them.........
Quick question , I saw that you either need to be married OR common-law to have access to PMQ's and so on .... is it true ??? GF and I have been together for 2 years ( almost 3 ) we signed our Common-Law paper 6 months ago at my unit ( reservist ). If ever my transfer gets accepted for Regular forces , will I need to marry , or the paper we sign will act the same ???
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Stranger things have happened than losing paperwork on a component transfer. Worst case scenario would be you'd have to submit a new Statutory Declaration (or whatever they require now) to your new CoC after the CT. I wouldn't worry too much about it, especially if you kept a copy of the paperwork you previously submitted to get the relationship recognized.
Eye In The Sky
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Occam said:
This. Go to your unit OR and ask for a copy of this.
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Shmebola said:
As stated by others here, it all depends on your definition of "career". There are certain jobs you can get that allow for countrywide transfers. My wife works for one of the big-chain banks and can put in for a transfer to the nearest branch if I am to transfer. I am sure that there are other jobs like this out there. We have a couple-friend that just joined the military and they are experiencing this for the first time. They had the added stress of having a baby while he was gone for his initial training - 10mon. She worked for a large sales chain which she quit in order to have more time for their new baby. She moved here when he was posted and although they offered her to get her job back out here (the sort of sales where you go to businesses and get them as clients), she took a job with a different company but same field.
You also have to factor in the possibilities of where he can get posted as a pilot can only go to certain bases. Do not quote me on this, but I would think that once he learns to fly either fixed or rotor-wing aircraft, he would stay with that type and that decreases the options further.
As well, your husband may have a say in increasing the frequency of postings. I will be putting in an application to join a unit in Ontario but I am putting that off for a few years so my wife can focus on her current job and perhaps rise a little higher there. I have no problem waiting - yes, it means a few more winter exercises where I freeze, but I know it'll bring a little more stability for her. As well, my eldest will be starting school soon so it will help him too. Under no time are either of us under the misconception that 'my plan' is set in stone. At any time, the army can send me/us elsewhere, but I have found that if you sit around in that 'be prepared to move' phase and not continue on with life for fear of being uprooted, then your general happiness and satisfaction is decreased as a family/couple.
