I'll try to offer a perspective, that of someone who's been in just South of 9 years.
You say the Army isn't changing quick enough. I think it's changing too quickly, and not necessarily in the right direction. We're becoming a corporation that's a little too concerned with political correctness and hugs-kisses-coddles. Maybe it's a generational thing, but it seems to me that some people are coming in with a sense of entitlement without the willingness to deal with some of the hardships.
Let's talk about hardships. The military inherently is full of them. That should be an accepted fact. In the 56 months I've been with my wife, I've been away approximately 26 months, including a 10 month tour in Afghanistan. That's about 2.16 years, or 46.42% of our lives together.
When it comes to military families, there has to be an understanding and strength on the part of all members. I was very up front with my spouse of what military life entailed getting into it. We make decisions together. I learned this at an early age, growing up in a military family, which also included several IR separations. I remember getting typewritten letters (YES, Letters!) from my father when he was in the field.
Sometimes, you won't be able to contact your family very frequently. Try a Roto 0 with 1 Satphone between an entire Sqn for calls home. And because we coddle people, that hardship will be multiplied when people are actually faced it.
BMQ seems really hard, but after a few years in, you look back and realize it wasn't really as hard as you thought it was. It's supposed to be your first indoctrination TO hardship. You're supposed to be under the gun. And if there are issues at home, there are options available. That's what FCP, rear parties, compassionates, contact Numbers and Padres are for. Yeah, it's not as convenient as pulling your cell out of your locker. But then army life is inherently inconvenient.
I'm of a mind that if your head is always at home, then it's not on work. You can't worry about your basement flooding sometimes. You have to trust that your spouse will be able to deal with it.
Having your head at home on BMQ may lead to a poor showing during inspection.
Having your head at home overseas can lead to much more disastrous results.
If you can't deal with not having a cellphone during basic, IMO (and it's not a very nice one, but I think a realistic one), you should GTFO. And I am neither a dinosaur, nor ignorant of the wellfare of my subordinates.
