Afghanistan, is it worth it- Cheating Spouse Thread

[Sparkplugs]

pun intended?  ;D

Definitely would be if I was a dude!  ;D

 

[Thrones]

I see this daily at CFLRS except the other way around...soldiers or want-to-be soldiers or going -to-be soldiers cheating on their spouses and boyfriends and girlfriends. It really sickens me. It's not the spouses fault they're seeing a cheating,lying, imbicile....

I actually have a question about this. Hubby is currently in basic, and I thought there was a strict no fraternizing policy? It does cross my mind from time to time, but I'm not overly worried about him cheating. If he's going to cheat, he would have already, and if he does he's not worth it anyway. If someone is caught fraternizing, isn't there some sort of punishment? I heard something about a fine, or possibly getting the boot, and if they have a spouse, a phone call home. Also... if there is a no frat policy, why are boxes of condoms being given out in class? lol. I suppose, they do get weekends eventually... just seems weird to me lol

 

[George Wallace]

.......... why are boxes of condoms being given out in class? ..........

>

You aren't that big a war movie buff are you.  Condoms are issued out to keep the shooting end of the soldier's rifle from getting wet and rusting in the rain and wet conditions found in the Field.    ;D


90 per cent, or more, of Recruits ARE NOT married. 

 

[Bzzliteyr]

Also... if there is a no frat policy, why are boxes of condoms being given out in class? lol. I suppose, they do get weekends eventually... just seems weird to me lol

The unfortunate reality of it is that even if people aren't SUPPOSED to fraternize, it does happen.  And the military and health Canada would prefer it if you did it protected rather than not so as to minimize the risks.

No one would want to have their significant other cheat on them, but would you want to be cheated on and then catch some lovely cooties from it?  I think not.

 

[smale436]

I actually have a question about this. Hubby is currently in basic, and I thought there was a strict no fraternizing policy? It does cross my mind from time to time, but I'm not overly worried about him cheating. If he's going to cheat, he would have already, and if he does he's not worth it anyway. If someone is caught fraternizing, isn't there some sort of punishment? I heard something about a fine, or possibly getting the boot, and if they have a spouse, a phone call home. Also... if there is a no frat policy, why are boxes of condoms being given out in class? lol. I suppose, they do get weekends eventually... just seems weird to me lol

I could be wrong but when I went through Basic Training the term fraternizing seemed to be defined by our staff as more engaging in "activities" with other members of your platoon or staff. Although in our case there was stuff going on. Notably two single people who are now married for three years and are expecting their second kid. Guess not all bad comes out of it. However during their time on BMQ they seemed to get more fire pickets than others. Maybe it was the staff's silent way of dealing with it.

As far as weekends, our staff couldn't give a rat's rear about what we did on the weekend. If staff were to see anything untoward happening I do not think they would make an ASSUMPTION on what is really happening and phone spouses. Never heard of anyone getting fined or the boot either from "fraternizing" with people, whether the other person was military or not.

Again regarding the condoms, single people have every right to fraternize with the opposite sex on the weekends. Maybe a non-single guy whose spouse is coming to visit will get usage out of the free ones if his spouse forgot to bring them. Plus he doesn't have to pay for them.

 

[Thrones]

Thanks CDNAIRFORCE.

As I said, I do realize that on weekends they're able to do whatever they want, I just kind of assumed I guess that they wouldn't promote it.  As for the fine, boot and phone call... someone could have just made that up. Either way, it's good to know how it really works.

 

[PMedMoe]

As I said, I do realize that on weekends they're able to do whatever they want, I just kind of assumed I guess that they wouldn't promote it.

It's not promoting sex, it's promoting SAFER* sex. 

Can't say "safe" as you can still catch some STIs even if a condom is used.

 

[Altair]

I actually have a question about this. Hubby is currently in basic, and I thought there was a strict no fraternizing policy? It does cross my mind from time to time, but I'm not overly worried about him cheating. If he's going to cheat, he would have already, and if he does he's not worth it anyway. If someone is caught fraternizing, isn't there some sort of punishment? I heard something about a fine, or possibly getting the boot, and if they have a spouse, a phone call home. Also... if there is a no frat policy, why are boxes of condoms being given out in class? lol. I suppose, they do get weekends eventually... just seems weird to me lol

As someone in basic right now, I can tell you that there is a fair amount of frat that goes on. Or cheating on spouses in general. As for getting caught, unless the two involved really didn't care about getting caught, they wouldn't be caught.

That all said, most of the married members of my platoon have remained faithful.

 

[FastEddy]

As someone in basic right now, I can tell you that there is a fair amount of frat that goes on. Or cheating on spouses in general. As for getting caught, unless the two involved really didn't care about getting caught, they wouldn't be caught.

That all said, most of the married members of my platoon have remained faithful.

Well on that note I'm sure you have raised the Bar on Comfort and Confidence with all the Spouses, both serving and at home.

Not that this is a realization or acceptance of the alledged fact, have you ever heard the expression "WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS, STAYS IN VEGAS".

You sound like the guy that would make those phone calls if you happen to discover a indiscretion of any of your Comrades.

Have a nice Day.

 

[Michael OLeary]

Not that this is a realization or acceptance of the alledged fact, have you ever heard the expression "WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS, STAYS IN VEGAS".

You sound like the guy that would make those phone calls if you happen to discover a indiscretion of any of your Comrades.

So, as an MP counseling someone that they should not be someone that reports infractions, how bad should the act be before you expect them to "drop a dime"?

 

[George Wallace]

As someone in basic right now, I can tell you that there is a fair amount of frat that goes on. Or cheating on spouses in general. As for getting caught, unless the two involved really didn't care about getting caught, they wouldn't be caught.

That all said, most of the married members of my platoon have remained faithful.

OK!  You contradicted yourself.  Are they cheating in general or are they remaining faithful?

 

[Altair]

OK!  You contradicted yourself.  Are they cheating in general or are they remaining faithful?

Well, using my platoon as a example, out of 11 married members of my platoon, there are 4 who are cheating on their spouses a fair amount. On a regular basis. Thus most of the married members have remained faithful.

If we're talking frat in general, I can personally name about 15 cases that I know of.

@Fasteddy Would I mention any of this to my chain of command or spouses of my platoon mates? No. It's not my place to do so. I was simply responding to a question that was asked, and gave my firsthand experience.

 

[aesop081]

No. It's not my place to do so.

Yup. When you dig into other people's lives like that, all you get is dirty.

 

[vonGarvin]

As a reminder, and I ask anyone with more patience than I to find the links to the relevant sections of the NDA:
Fraternisation: Defined as an unauthorised personal relationship with someone who is your subordinate (or words to that effect)

Now, somewhere in the NDA, it states that it is your duty as a service member to report infractions of the NDA.  So, long story short, if MS Gladbottom and OS Snookums have a professional subordinate/superior relationship AND a personal relationship, and if you know this, then you WILL report it, or else YOU are guilty of an offense.  Etc and so forth.

 

[Occam]

I'm surprised that nobody has pointed this out yet.

"Fraternization" has only one definition under any CF regulations, and that is the definition under DAOD 5019-1:

Fraternization means any relationship between a CF member and a person from an enemy or belligerent force, or a CF member and a local inhabitant within a theatre of operations where CF members are deployed.

Obviously, that definition does not apply in this discussion.

A "personal relationship" is defined as:

an emotional, romantic, sexual or family relationship, including marriage or a common-law partnership or civil union, between two CF members, or a CF member and a DND employee or contractor, or member of an allied force

I think what everyone is referring to is called an "Adverse Personal Relationship", which is also defined under the same DAOD as:

If a personal relationship has a negative effect on the security, cohesion, discipline or morale of a unit, the personal relationship is considered adverse for the purpose of this DAOD.

It goes on to say:

Administrative action shall be taken to separate CF members who are involved in an adverse personal relationship.

If an adverse personal relationship cannot be changed within the applicable unit/sub-unit for the CF members in a supervisor/subordinate relationship, the CF members shall be separated by attached posting, posting, change in work assignments or other action.

Such a separation is not punitive in nature, nor shall there be a negative stigma or career implication towards the CF members.

I don't think there's anything under the NDA dealing with the old, traditional meaning of "fraternization".

 

[stealthylizard]

What happens on weekends is what happens on weekends.  If it occurs on weekdays, it can result in disciplinary actions being taken.  In RFT, 2 people were caught fraternizing during the weekdays in the Mega after lights out, and were separated, one being sent to PAT, and other staying in RFT.  They were both eventually charged for conduct unbecoming. 

 

[FastEddy]

So, as an MP counseling someone that they should not be someone that reports infractions, how bad should the act be before you expect them to "drop a dime"?

I just love the way you experts and Holy'r Than Thou twist and read into quotes  insinuations or your point of view. in this case, I'm discouraging the reporting of Crimes.

If I saw someone Breaking into a house, I'd arrest them, If I saw someone Sexily assaulting a Minor, I'd arrest them, If I saw a person committing any other Felony, I'd arrest them.

BUT IF I SAW YOUR WIFE GETTING IT OFF IN THE BACK SEAT OF A CAR WHILE YOU WERE DRUNK IN THE MESS and there wasn't enough Evidence to support an Indecent and Lude Act in a Public Place, I'd figure this guy has enough problems. But by your reasoning and insinuation, I should go into the Mess, tap you on the shoulder "GUESS WHAT PAL !!!"

As far as when to drop a dime, you should be thankful we are Trained and
KNOW when to. Or we'd need a lot more Detention Barracks.















i

 

[aesop081]

They were both eventually charged for conduct unbecoming.

The Canadian term is " CONDUCT TO THE PREJUDICE OF GOOD ORDER AND DISCIPLINE " , section 129 of the NDA , QR&O Volume 2, article 130.60.

 

[Michael OLeary]

I just love the way you experts and Holy'r Than Thou twist and read into quotes  insinuations or your point of view. in this case, I'm discouraging the reporting of Crimes.

If I saw someone Breaking into a house, I'd arrest them, If I saw someone Sexily assaulting a Minor, I'd arrest them, If I saw a person committing any other Felony, I'd arrest them.

BUT IF I SAW YOUR WIFE GETTING IT OFF IN THE BACK SEAT OF A CAR WHILE YOU WERE DRUNK IN THE MESS and there wasn't enough Evidence to support an Indecent and Lude Act in a Public Place, I'd figure this guy has enough problems. But by your reasoning and insinuation, I should go into the Mess, tap you on the shoulder "GUESS WHAT PAL !!!"

As far as when to drop a dime, you should be thankful we are Trained and
KNOW when to. Or we'd need a lot more Detention Barracks.

If you think your comments are being taken out of context, then you haven't presented them clearly enough. Maybe you should learn to explain yourself more clearly when you post on the internet, and you can dispense with the immature attitude when someone calls you on your comments. 

 

[Neolithium]

Well, using my platoon as a example, out of 11 married members of my platoon, there are 4 who are cheating on their spouses a fair amount. On a regular basis. Thus most of the married members have remained faithful.

If we're talking frat in general, I can personally name about 15 cases that I know of.

@Fasteddy Would I mention any of this to my chain of command or spouses of my platoon mates? No. It's not my place to do so. I was simply responding to a question that was asked, and gave my firsthand experience.

I've taken a peek through this thread a few times since joining the forums; and my wife has read through it over my shoulder a few times as well since I'll be leaving soon - it has a lot of realistic information that has been brought up, though I'm not worried about her being faithful when I'm gone and neither is she for myself.  We've been together since we were 16, have 3 great kids together and I'm lucky to have a wife who fully supports me joining the Canadian Forces; will either of us stray throughout my career? Of course it's a possibility, however that possibility exists for me being killed by a meteor at some random time throughout my life also, doesn't mean that it will happen.  There is already a little extra stress on the relationship just due to the fact we're of course going to miss our cozy little family life while I take off to BMQ but we're both quite sure that it makes the time at home that much better when I get back.

And of course getting some of the things I need to take ready to go, she (as a joke) bought a big jar of vaseline and slapped it down on the table "That should last you at least until SQ, right?"  :rofl: