The adventures of bekkamgov and her Boyfriend

[bekkamgov]

my boyfriend is in basic training is in basic training right now after he is done we are thinking of getting a pmq in borden where he is doing his training for supply tech..we did live together for a year but i moved out before he joined the army back to my parents but we were having financal trouble. we have been together for 5 years now and have a 3 year old. we are planning to get married sometime soon. but i was wondering if anyone knows if we could get a pmq.it has been so had on our son being away from his dad.

 

[the 48th regulator]

my boyfriend is in basic training is in basic training right now after he is done we are thinking of getting a pmq in borden where he is doing his training for supply tech..we did live together for a year but i moved out before he joined the army back to my parents but we were having financal trouble. we have been together for 5 years now and have a 3 year old. we are planning to get married sometime soon. but i was wondering if anyone knows if we could get a pmq.it has been so had on our son being away from his dad.

My advice to you is that you stay where you are.  You will both lose money, if you move to Borden, and the ultimate decision will be made by his CO or School Commandant.


This may be cruel, but All three of you had better get used to being apart for long periods of time.  Further more, how much time do you really think you will have, with your partner, who is on a course??

Stay where you are, collect the extra money, and invest in a camera for the computer.  Download Skype, and do the virtual hellos.

dileas

tess

And this is locked, as it has been answered, before.

milnet.ca staff

 

[Michael OLeary]

Try some of the threads from this search: site:army.ca pmq borden

 

[Michael OLeary]

Received from a member after the lock, added for info:

What im getting at is that there is no longer a rule that states one has to be married to get a PMQ.  That used to be the case but it was done away with.  In their case, the member would be on a restricted posting, meaning that he has to gain permission of his CO to live off base.  This is SOP for any member that is in the training system but not yet MOC qualified.  If the CO grants permission then a non IRP cost move would be initiated (assuming such allowances were provided for in his message).

As far as PMQs go, its simply a matter of getting on the waiting list if there is any.  Its pretty much first come first serve with preference given to members coming in from out of town.  As an example, if the member already lived near Borden on the economy, he would be placed on the priority 2 waiting list, whereas if he is incoming from another location he goes on the priority 1 list.

Basically the only discretion involved is wether the CO choses to grant permission for the member to live off base.

An a follow-up note:

Further to the added post, if the member and the OP share custody of their child, he should be able to claim common-law status.

 

[the 48th regulator]

Received from a member after the lock, added for info:

The Base CO, in conjunction with advice from various resources, has initiated a process that will allow all COs and Commandants to have available more information on the Soldier, so that they make the right decision.

Factors will include Financial Planning information, Social Situation, and basically enough resources for the CO to decide whether the Troop and his family are well informed on what is involved.

Here are some things to think about;



Transportation, do you have two vehicles?  If not, are you financial stable to get a new one?  Borden has zero in way of public transit, and no one is obliged to drive you.

Do you have a Provincial health Card for Ontario?  Are you aware that there are absolutely no doctors in the area, willing to take on Patients, especially those that are transient such as families of People going to school in Borden.  If you or your children have special needs, Toronto is the closest that you can have those attended to; 2 hours away, give or take, based on traffic.

Are you financially stable to be able to live with him at this time.  You are getting more money, or should be, having him being away from you.  Once you arrive that all goes away, however, now you have rent, and all the bills that go with the PMQ.  Have you sat down, and figured all of this out??

You are taking up a residence, that could be given to families who have been posted here for many years.  They now have to wait, because of the transient families, longer to find accommodations.  How do you find this fair?

Just some things for you to chew on.  I am not trying to hurt, or insult you, in any way.  I completely understand your goals, but I want to let you know that there are more cons, than pros, with regards to you coming to Borden to be with you partner. 

dileas

tess

milnet.ca staff


I have decided to unlock this, and monitor it closely, to make it easier for bekkamgov to respond.  I do not want to let this go down the tube.

 

[bekkamgov]

We have decided to move in together after goes to course. more like he decided.and to reply to your post we do have to cars and even tho i live at my parents house i have to take care of my son and I all by myself. i work full time and go to university part time. I have never got any money from my boyfriend so i think i am able to take care of myself and my boyfriend.i was when we were living together to cause he wasn't working. and as for the last part of your message you haven't insulted me..it is pretty hard to I work in the jail system I get insulted everyday lol..

 

[the 48th regulator]

We have decided to move in together after goes to course. more like he decided

A wise decision!  Let him finish all the training, then you can move in with him.

.and to reply to your post we do have to cars and even tho i live at my parents house i have to take care of my son and I all by myself. i work full time and go to university part time. I have never got any money from my boyfriend so i think i am able to take care of myself and my boyfriend.i was when we were living together to cause he wasn't working.

Okay...It was just that when you stated;

..we did live together for a year but i moved out before he joined the army back to my parents but we were having financal trouble.

Plus with the MSN speak, talk of living at home, you can just understand the concern...As for the two cars, well there you go, I assume that you also live in Ontario, meaning transporting them will not be a challenge.  Further to that, you must also have an OHIP card.

and as for the last part of your message you haven't insulted me..it is pretty hard to I work in the jail system I get insulted everyday lol..

Now I definitely commend you.  You are willing to give up a job in Corrections, push back your Part Time studies in University, just so you can be with your partner for a few months.  Well then, I stand corrected.

Oh ya, not to sound facetious, or snooty, the MSN speak is part of the guidelines.  As is grammar and Spell check.  But being in the Jail System, you can understand authority and enforcement of rules. Also, with your university enlightenment, it should be easy to adjust over to a posting manner that is not as painful to read, as it is now.

dileas

tess

 

[bekkamgov]

i live in new brunswick.

 

[the 48th regulator]

i live in new brunswick.

Oh,

So I guess the Boyfriend has one, and you will drive the car out here, with all of the furniture.  How about the health care portion?  What were you going to do about that?  Doctors, Special needs etc etc?

dileas

tess

 

[bekkamgov]

i can always get my medcare changed to the ontario one if i moved out there but i don't even know if i'm going to be living in ontario..and i can always hire someone to take my stuff out there..

 

[Fishbone Jones]

i can always get my medcare changed to the ontario one if i moved out there but i don't even know if i'm going to be living in ontario..and i can always hire someone to take my stuff out there..

bekkamgov,

You were already asked above to follow our guidelines by using capitalisation, grammar, sentence structure, etc.

Please start now and read the guidelines at your first opportunity. Preferably, before you post again.

Milnet.ca Staff

 

[the 48th regulator]

i can always get my medcare changed to the ontario one if i moved out there but i don't even know if i'm going to be living in ontario..and i can always hire someone to take my stuff out there..

The only base called Borden I know of, is in Ontario. If it is the same Ontario that I know, you actually think that Provincial Medical Coverage can be changed overnight??  I have some swampland in Meaford I would like to sell you, too......

Anyway, this is all moot, as Hubby made the right decision;  Wait until he is fully trained, and receives his first posting. However, a good lesson for all that have the same thoughts and questions.

Anyway, I will retire to Bedlham....

dileas

tess

 

[bekkamgov]

I don't understand the importance of grammar..I thought that i was..sorry if I wasn't..

I said on an earlier  post that I'm not moving until he gets posted. I was just asking a question and everyone is saying all this bad stuff. I have been together for 5 years now. It isn't like we have only been together for a couple months, and i have a little boy that has separation anxiety really bad, because his daddy isn't here. He thinks everytime someone leaves to go to work that there not coming back.

 

[aesop081]

He thinks everytime someone leaves to go to work that there not coming back.

They survive. I just told my youngest daughter that i am missing her graduation due to a deployment. She knows the drill now, i go away about 15 times a year. You and your family need to start living with long separation.

Cheers

 

[bekkamgov]

yeah I know he will survive,but I want him to be the happiest little boy ever. Thing is the 2 people he is close to left for bootcamp at the time. his uncle and his daddy. It has got to the point he won't talk to his daddy on the phone anymore. He hasn't seen his dad since january. He is getting worst. With his behavour.

 

[Fishbone Jones]

There are plenty of threads regarding separation and how to deal with it. Go there for that. Have you got any more questions, regarding PMQs, that havn't been answered yet?

Milnet.ca Staff

 

[aesop081]

but I want him to be the happiest little boy ever.

Look, i didnt give you this advice lightly. I am a single parent of 2 and a military man for 17+ years so i know a little about both. We all want our kids to be the happiest they can be but sometimes, choices and sacrifices have to be made. Military life demands sacrifices.

You either have to find a way for your kid to deal with it, or your better half has to find a different job.

At least your kid has his mom at home when dad is gone........mine dont.

There are plenty of threads regarding separation and how to deal with it. Go there for that. Have you got any more questions, regarding PMQs, that havn't been answered yet?

Milnet.ca Staff

Roger, moving on.

 

[PMedMoe]

There's always the possibility that it's just a phase he is going through.  Young children have a tendency to forget things like that very quickly, once normalcy is restored.  I went to Germany for over 6 months when my child was three and when I got back, it was almost as if I had never left.

You best bet is to wait, continue with work and school and let things work out when they do. With any luck, your boyfriend gets on his course right away.  The Supply Tech course is only 67 training days (according to www.forces.ca), so I don't even think he would be entitled to a PMQ or a move anyway.

Right now, he should be getting all his paperwork in order so that he can declare you as common-law so that you and your son are covered on his posting after course, if he hasn't already done so.

 

[the 48th regulator]

I don't understand the importance of grammar..I thought that i was..sorry if I wasn't..

I said on an earlier  post that I'm not moving until he gets posted. I was just asking a question and everyone is saying all this bad stuff. I have been together for 5 years now. It isn't like we have only been together for a couple months, and i have a little boy that has separation anxiety really bad, because his daddy isn't here. He thinks everytime someone leaves to go to work that there not coming back.

yeah I know he will survive,but I want him to be the happiest little boy ever. Thing is the 2 people he is close to left for bootcamp at the time. his uncle and his daddy. It has got to the point he won't talk to his daddy on the phone anymore. He hasn't seen his dad since january. He is getting worst. With his behavour.

As I said, I am not trying to be cruel, and if my posts show the bad side...well yes, that is the intention.  I am presenting to you the negatives, that occur with a decision to move to your Partners base, that he is doing his trade training.

Instead of looking at the cup being half empty, look at it as half full.  Use this opportunity to train you, in how you will handle things when Hubby and Uncle are away on a real deployment.

You have heard of the term "Harsh reality" right?  I am not here to pick on you, except for that MSN speak (oh how that bugs me  ), I am trying to express the need to look at the WHOLE picture, not the small little corner.

dileas

tess

 

[bekkamgov]

I know that is what your saying and I know all about it. My Great grandfather, my grandfather ,my grandmother and my brother were all in the military, so I know all about it. my mom has lived all over the world basically cause my grandfather was in the air force. My mom has told me that there is going to be alot of moving and things like that. I know that is part of it and I know he is going to be away alot. I just want to be with him as much as I can. When i can.