Author Topic: Don't know how to explain to my parents of my career choice  (Read 4938 times)

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Offline MikeRizzi88

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I am currently 15 years old, and yes I know that may be a little young to start thinking if my future careers, but every since I can remember, I've always had a fascination with the army (especially the Infantry) and wanting to serve my country  :cdn: . My parents know of my great interest in the military, but that is all they see it as, not knowing that I have actually been dreaming of enlisting. They are both teachers and probably wish for me to peruse a job in law or the medical field, but I honestly know that those paths are not for me, and would probably make me feel miserable with my work. Can anyone tell me if they have been in this situation and how they got through it? 

Offline Viam

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Re: Don't know how to explain to my parents of my career choice
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2016, 18:44:58 »
I was sort of in the same boat with my family. While not as extreme as yours, they had perceived the military as where all the dropouts go and do "grunt" work. What I had personally done, was bring them with me to a recruiter as well as speaking with them one on one as to how the military can benefit any other career I'd like to do.

Best of luck with your endeavors!
Recruiting Center: CFRC Toronto
Regular/ Reserve: Reserve
Officer/NCM: NCM
Trade Choice 1: Combat Engineer
Applied: Mid October, 2015
First contact: Mid October, 2015
CFAT: - Late March, 2016 (PASSED)
FORCE Test: - Late March, 2016 (PASSED)
Medical: - Mid April, 2016 (PASSED)
Interview: - Mid April, 2016 (PASSED)
Enrollment/swearing in: - Late July, 2016
BMQ: - Late September / Early October, 2016
Time from application to BMQ: 1 Year

Offline Dija

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Re: Don't know how to explain to my parents of my career choice
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2016, 02:32:35 »
What I'd recommend is trying to make them see you're serious.

Do your research, become knowledgeable about your roll in the CF and what it entails.

Commit yourself, start an exercise regiment and prepare yourself for the Land Course meatgrinder, the more experience you have the better.

Just know, ultimately it is your decision, my family was split down the middle between people who where supportive of my CF application, and people who vehemently disagreed.

But all in all, I'm sure your parents are just concerned about your future, like Viam said take your parents in to speak with the professionals at your LRC. As soon as your parents have some time and information to reconsider what your enrollment would mean for you, they may be more sympathetic of your aspirations.

Best of luck!  [lol:
Int Ops: We drink and we know things.

Offline itsflashpoint

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Re: Don't know how to explain to my parents of my career choice
« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2016, 23:28:43 »
I am an *******, although I am still not enlisted, hell I still didn't get through the testing stage.

I just applied without telling my parents, because in reality you're choosing your life path, you do what you want with YOUR life, not what your parents want.

Oh btw I know that you've got a long time to go till you do your CFAT but stll, if you're not doing well in math, you should start working on that, the CFAT is mostly algebra, and other math related questions.
Recruiting centre: Winnipeg
Regular/ Reserve: Regular
Officer/NCM: NCM
Trade choice 1: Infantry Soldier.
Applied: October 10th 2014.
First contact: October 10th, 2014.
Test: November 18th, 2014. [Failed :-(]
Medical: TBA
Interview: TBA
Position offered: TBA
Enrollment/swearing in: TBA
BMQ: TBA

Offline DirtOnMyBoots

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Re: Don't know how to explain to my parents of my career choice
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2017, 21:10:06 »
I definitely get disapproving parents. I'm currently 17 and I moved out almost a year ago. Everyone I know has been telling me I'm too smart for the armed forces and (as someone who wishes everyone would get along) I get a lot of weird looks when I mention my intentions. If your parents don't take your interest seriously, do as much research as you can and show them you're serious. While I disagree that the CFAT test is mostly algebra (it's 90% common sense for most people) it's definitely necessary to know what you want to do just like any other career choice. First off, you have to decide if you want to be an officer or an NCM (Non-commissioned member). With two teachers as parents they might be more supportive if you tell them that you're going in as an officer and getting a top of the line University education. A lot of people associate anything military with dropouts, as has been said. Showing them that's not what you're doing will soften the blow. The more you know about your plans (what will you study, how you're going to prepare, what kind of physical fitness you need to have) the more seriously your parents will take you. Starting an exercise regime is probably the #1 way to make sure you're ready and if you're ready, it makes it easier on your parents.
Recruting Center: Toronto
Regular/Reserve: Regular
Officer/NCM: Officer
Trade Choice: Intelligence
CFAT completed : December, 2016
Application: September, 2016
First Contact: October, 2016
Enrolment Interview: March 27, 2017
Medical: March 8, 2017
Position offered: TBD
Enrollment/swearing in: TBD

Offline drbones

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Re: Don't know how to explain to my parents of my career choice
« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2017, 09:24:23 »
I concur with DirtOnMyBoots . While it is nice to have parents who approve of your career choice, ultimately it is your life to live. I swore into the CAF and only told my parents about joining the military the day before I left for basic training only because someone blew my cover  :camo: . If you truly want to join, then do it. So far I have enjoyed my time in the military and the life experience you gain should ( in most cases) make you a better person. Follow your path in life and not your parents.

Offline DirtOnMyBoots

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Re: Don't know how to explain to my parents of my career choice
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2017, 18:33:55 »
Although you must remember that if you're under 18 when you join (Ie most kids joining out of highschool) you're going to have to get one of them to sign a consent waiver. So unless you plan on waiting until you're 18 then you have to get them to the point that they'll sign it, even begrudgingly.
Recruting Center: Toronto
Regular/Reserve: Regular
Officer/NCM: Officer
Trade Choice: Intelligence
CFAT completed : December, 2016
Application: September, 2016
First Contact: October, 2016
Enrolment Interview: March 27, 2017
Medical: March 8, 2017
Position offered: TBD
Enrollment/swearing in: TBD

Offline Mudshuvel

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Re: Don't know how to explain to my parents of my career choice
« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2017, 19:51:20 »
Well there are trades in the military nobody ever thinks about. The common misconception, my brother unfortunately can't shake it, is if you join the Army- you're infantry. Join the Navy? Sailor. Air Force - Pilot. I would recommend thoroughly looking through trades. Yea, I get it, you want to be infantry now, but there are so many trades to choose from, make sure you're making the choice that you want to be in for 5 or 10 or the 25. I'm an ATIS Tech, I try to unbreak radios and radars. Its an awesome job. Would I have wanted to do it when I was 15? Hell no. I wanted to be in the infantry hahah. No, actually Artillery, but you see my point, lol.

In either case, you're going to have friends, even family, who do not understand why you joined. You could tell them you're an ATIS Tech and you try to make things less broken, but they will still assume you're infantry. Do what makes you happy and fulfilled in your life.

-Mud
"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."
- Marshal Ferdinand Foch [Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre] (circa 1911)
He was Supreme Commander of Allied forces, 1918

If you have questions: go to Google, type  "Site:army.ca",  followed by a space any keywords related to what you're looking for.

Offline clownfool

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Re: Don't know how to explain to my parents of my career choice
« Reply #8 on: January 04, 2017, 21:56:08 »
@DirtOnMyBoots

I was kind of in the same situation, except it was my mother who was disapproving of my career choice. I knew before I even applied that she wouldn't approve. I ended up telling her about a week before my enrolment ceremony. She understood that it was what I wanted to do, but she had hopes of me going into medicine or becoming a scientist.

I didn't want to get her involved, so I only invited my father to my enrolment ceremony. Let me tell you, that was one of my biggest mistakes...




Online Eric16

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Re: Don't know how to explain to my parents of my career choice
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2017, 03:35:09 »
I am currently 15 years old, and yes I know that may be a little young to start thinking if my future careers, but every since I can remember, I've always had a fascination with the army (especially the Infantry) and wanting to serve my country  :cdn: . My parents know of my great interest in the military, but that is all they see it as, not knowing that I have actually been dreaming of enlisting. They are both teachers and probably wish for me to peruse a job in law or the medical field, but I honestly know that those paths are not for me, and would probably make me feel miserable with my work. Can anyone tell me if they have been in this situation and how they got through it?

 I think the reason why most parents don't want their kids to join the military and want them to go for a different path is because they fear that you may put yourself in danger when you get deployed overseas. If you wish to get deployed, and be away from home for a long time, then regular force is for you, the benefits/pay is great, you may join at the age of 18 (without parental consent), but it is not good if you want to have a family and get married (Its hard to keep up a relationship if you are away from home for a long time). However, there is another option and that is the reserve force where you can only get deployed overseas if you volunteer to do so, it is a part time job basically (You only train on the weekends). You may apply for the reserve at 16. If you don't wish to get deployed overseas, and wish to stay here with your family and possibly pursue a full time job (Still remain a reservists and train on the weekend), then go for it. Military is a great career to go for, not just benefits/pay. I recently joined and I love it, it is way better than working at McDonald's. I've met very nice people, you will make many good friends, and people will help you when you need it, and a lot of people will respect you for your service. If you are interested in joining the reserve force, tell your parents it is a great opportunity. You will learn many things not just discipline/teamwork. If your parents are concerned about you going to war or getting deployed, tell them you can only get deployed if you volunteer so they don't need to worry. Another great thing about military is that, if you are looking for a normal civilian job, and you put down you are in the military or was, employers would want to hire you because soldiers are trained to follow orders and they have great discipline. This goes the same even if you are applying for post secondary, definitely a good idea to put it down on your application. If you are applying for post secondary, you should try going for ROTP "Regular officer training plan" If you qualified for it and did well on the CFAT you will be sent to the military college, and if you successfully completed your post secondary at the military college, you will become a career soldier as an officer, which is even better, way better pay and benefits. If you do not wish to go for regular force, but interested in reserves, you can finish your post secondary and go for DEO (Direct entry officer) depends on your degree, the military will decide which officer route will be suited for you (You may still work full time for another job). Hopefully you can convince your parents to let you pursue your dream. Good luck :salute:
« Last Edit: January 05, 2017, 03:44:52 by Eric16 »
Recruiting Centre: HMCS Discovery/New Westminister RC
Regular/ Reserve: Reserve
Officer/NCM: NCM
Trade Choice 1: Naval Combat Information Operator
Trade Choice 2: Boatswain
Trade Choice 3: Naval Communicator
Online Application: July 19th 2016
First Contact: July 21th 2016
FORCE test: July 28th, 2016 (Passed)
CFAT: September 22nd, 2016 (Passed)
Medical: October 21st, 2016 (Passed)
Interview: October 21st, 2016 (Passed)
Position offered: Boatswain
Swearing in: December 6th, 2016
BMQ: July 3 Weeks

Offline proudmama

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Re: Don't know how to explain to my parents of my career choice
« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2017, 17:33:06 »
So I am the mother of member who joined the Forces at the age of 17 thru the ROTP program as he graduated high school.  My son first slipped the idea of joining after high school during a conversation towards the end of grade 10 and it was kind of like he was floating up a trial balloon to see how I might react. I didn't react immediately but then started goggling.  I needed information to start to process the idea and time to get more comfortable with it (not that I'll ever be completely at ease). I would after touch base with him at different stages over the next couple years with this as one of a few post-secondary options.

Starting by about grade 11, he was  working out, making conscientious nutrition choices (and cooking them), studying well (towards engineering) and continuing to show himself as a responsible young man. He was taking his time to weigh various options and discuss them with me while moving ahead overall. I was able to support him because I believed it was well considered and not rashly entered into. That said, I made a point often with him that starting on any one path did not mean he was committed: IF he decided to apply and IF he got an offer and IF he decided to accept it were all seperate decision points. As a mom that was very important to me. By the time he got an offer, we (me, him, his dad, his brother and other family members) were each ready for him to make his decision. If it had been sprung on me at the last minute,it would have been bad for our relationship. I would have felt very hurt as that was not how our family worked.

My advice is take a deep breath, talk about this as one option of a few you will be exploring, get information on all your options and  share info as you get it.  Remember, even if you apply to the Forces, you might not get an offer  (or at least not when you first try) so you need another viable option anyways. If you keep an open mind, hopefully they will too (and tell them that if you are getting resistance).